Hey, House Martell isn’t going to appear for 3 more seasons. The title is basically a spoiler. Here we go, out first season finale. Typically, when you have an episode with as many twists as the last did, you’re not going to get a lot of events in the follow-up. GOT has a tradition of […]
Here’s where the second biggest twist this show ever had takes place. And man did it throw people for a loop. If there was no book material, we would have gotten a completely predictable and uninspiring fate for Ned Stark, at least in my opinion. Can’t say I think anything of the show runners that […]
Is this episode going to be about violence, or sex? As usual with this series, it’s tough to tell. Summary – Sansa becomes a glorified prisoner of war while Arya narrowly escapes. Ned is a prisoner and is forced to hang out with Varys. The wall is attacked by their first white walker. Tyrion befriends […]
Imagine if they enforced those rules on the Price is Right? Jesus, think of the carnage people would be watching whenever they were home from school. The line on spaying and neutering of Pets would be the least gruesome part of the show. Those animals get off easy in comparison. Summary – Robert Baratheon loses […]
Summary – Ned visits various bastards, possibly to understand the concept of being without honor. He also fights with Robert about murdering the remaining Targaryens. We see multiple plays for power, both active and secret. Tyrion is taken to the Vale as a prisoner for trying to kill Bran, and apparently killing Jon Arryn somehow. […]
This sounds like a speech they’d give in the Wire. Oh dear. Hopefully Omar makes it out alive. Summary – Sam joins the Night’s Watch which continues to be about as dysfunctional as Kayne West’s twitter. Tyrion tries to help Bran out (the traitor) and ultimately gets arrested by Catelyn. Ned reads a very long, […]
Summary – Ned arrives at King’s Landing and finds out the kingdom maxed out their credit cards. Jon finally starts training and is hated by everyone for existing. Littlefinger reveals that he’s a total bastard. Dany is pregnant and knows it’s a boy somehow. Tyrion pees off the side of the Wall. Quotes “They never […]
Summary – Ned leaves for King’s landing with Sansa, Arya and my main man Bobby B. Jon travels to the wall with Tyrion, where his perception of the Night’s Watch slowly changes. Dany is only used for male fantasies and graphic sex scenes. Tyrion and Arya make Joffrey their bitch, though he gets the last […]
Episode Quote: “Winter is Coming” – Ned Stark (like 95 times) Yeah, real original Ned. If you don’t know what that quote refers to, I recommend a calendar and an almanac. In Westeros, seasons last absurdly long. The characters mention it’s been in Summer for years (I believe 9 of them). Ned realizes that winter […]
