GOT Episode 1 Review – Winter is Coming

Episode Quote:  “Winter is Coming” – Ned Stark (like 95 times)

Yeah, real original Ned. If you don’t know what that quote refers to, I recommend a calendar and an almanac.

In Westeros, seasons last absurdly long. The characters mention it’s been in Summer for years (I believe 9 of them). Ned realizes that winter is on the way, and this doubles as the Starks’ house words. Really, it means trouble is coming, as seen with the royal family stopping by for a business visit, the death of Jon Arryn and the fact that there are icicle monsters killing people. So yeah, it’s not Always Sunny in Westeros.

As an aside, Amazing Danny Devito on this show? He would have made a fantastic Littlefinger.

Quick Summary:

The death of Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King, causes most of King’s Landing to march to Winterfell and ask Ned to take the role. Across the World, Dany is married to Kahl Drogo. A White Walker kills a dozen people and then doesn’t appear for 40+ episodes.

What was good:

The Opening – If you didn’t know anything about this series, you’d be pretty convinced that everybody was going to die brutally. To be fair, that’s not far off of the truth.

We don’t really get much of the White Walkers early on, so this is a set up that takes a bit of time to pay off, but it’s clear that they mean business. I do like the intro, and it’s lifted directly from the books, but I did always think it was a little weird we didn’t met a meaningful character until after the opening credits, 10 minutes into the series. I mean, the frigging Ice Zombie was, by far, the most important character introduced. Instead we get various characters who do not appear again. Mostly due to dying via Ice Impalement.

If I went into the series knowing nothing, I would have thought Will, the deserter, would have been important and that’s why he escaped. That would be very incorrect. If there’s one thing Season 1 teaches us, it’s not to assume anyone is important. The second half makes some of the series’ biggest actor names into corpses. How’s it going Sean Bean?

Dire Wolves – It’s not the introduction to the dire wolves I enjoyed here, although I do want to give them their props. The wolves play a vital role for Jon, and made Bran scenes almost passable for a few seasons. Trust me, they’ll be a lot of rage when we get to that episode involving Summer.

I’m a bigger fan of the foreshadowing in this scene, as it’s pretty significant for the first two seasons. The first one is the mother dire wolf being killed with a Stag. If that’s not symbolic for how Robert and Ned are about to be killed, I don’t know what is. Really, both houses are in for some serious destruction, and that foreshadowing is covered up by the Stark kids getting a bunch of fluffy pets. It’s a pretty cool moment.

The other, much more subtle foreshadow comes from Theon. Theon does little in the first season to endear himself to anyone, but his response to Robb when he asks him to spare the dire wolves is telling. “I take orders from your father, not you”. What happens when Ned is put to death? Theon goes back to the Iron Islands and plots with his father. That was a big mistake on about 19 levels, but still it’s cool that this scene has plenty of foreshadowing in for people re-watching. Granted, this is all provided by Martin. The hack, embarrassing show runners wouldn’t have any subtly in it. Without Martin, they would have shown Theon’s eyes shift around for 30 seconds after the remark while lightning cracked in the background.

Bobby’s B’s relationship with Ned – As the victor of the rebellion, Robert isn’t exactly what you’d picture as a king. He’s completely out of shape, becomes enraged at the drop of a hat, and doesn’t show any kingly demeanor during his brief tenure on the show. Most of his time is spent fighting with Ned, the one person who Robert actually listens too. It’s not the ideal ruler, but at least he’s surrounded by people who conspire against him.

What I love about his introduction is the clear bond he and Ned have. Ned has no problem calling Robert fat, and he laughs louder than anyone else. He’s not afraid of being the butt of a joke, as long as it’s coming from someone he respects.

It makes sense for Robert to come to Ned now – Jon Arran, the man who took care of both of them when they were young was the previous Hand of the King. It’s heavily implied Ned wanted nothing to do with the court life, otherwise he probably would have already been in charge. Robert also knows Ned would never say no to him. It’s not anything Ned wants to do, but he has too much honor and if a king demands something that doesn’t conflict with his morals, and trust me, that comes up very quickly, he’s going to follow through. I do think Lysa’s letter played a factor, but Ned would have done it anyway. He’s a loyal guy. Not that it gets him killed or anything.

Robert’s love for Lyanna Stark is part of the downfall of his reign. He confesses to Ned his marriage started off well, but it’s reeling. Nobody could replace Lyanna, even though Robery never really knew her. Like at all. He loved the idea of Lyanna, and probably a multitude of her parts, and now he has no recollection of what she even looked like. It’s pretty sad honestly. Robert tries to fill some of that void by trying to marry his asshole “son” with Ned’s daughter, and make them brothers in law as they were meant to be. It’s a nice gesture, but it’s also one that kind of traps Ned into being the Hand of the King. It’s a shrill move.

Tyrion and Jon – While I think this paring started better in the book, I still like how the two come together in the first few episodes. Both men are the outcasts in their prominent families and while Tyrion has grown to brush off the insults as best as he can, Jon still hates hearing them. He takes Tyrion’s words as a slight, but Tyrion is trying to teach him a lesson. Although he left the scene angry at the Lannister, eventually, Tyrion grows on our floppy haired protagonist, and I’d say by the end of episode 3, they are friends.

Also, boy did Tyrion look different in the pilot. His hair was bleached blonder than Jaime or Cersei. It’s a bit off putting. I much prefer Tyrion’s shaggy prison look, being that, you know, he’s in prison a lot. Fortunately for the viewer, and not so much for Tyrion, the shaggy look we grow accustom too appears in a few short episodes.

The Window Scene – There’s something to be said about avoiding getting involved in other people’s business. Bran didn’t have to climb to the top of Winterfell and get a free peep show. In fact, he was told not to climb around anymore by his mother. But did he listen? No of course not. Had he, we wouldn’t have so many issues in the series. Instead, Bran put his nose where it didn’t belong (Better than what Jaime was doing though), and he had an unfortunately accident because of it.

This scene really sets up the Lannisters as deprived villains. First, you have incent, and hopefully nobody watching was high fiving that action. If you were, please leave this site. I’ll wait.

Thank you.

It makes Cersei look terrible, willing to throw a kid out the window, but it makes Jaime even worse – seemingly not going to hurt the kid and then surprisingly shoving him. It even makes you think of Tyrion in a different light because he seems so close to Jaime. It’s not a great scene for the Lannisters, but as we learn more about each of them, we know Jaime lives to protect those he loves. Cersei’s still a total bitch though.

Now, I’m not here to defend incest, but honestly, this was only the second most uncomfortable scene in the show. That’s kind of insane. Again, I’d like to remind you that everybody likes this show.

If you had told me on first viewing I’d side with the man shoving the child out of a window after spending “quality” time with his sister over the innocent child, I’d think I was a psychopath. However after being subjected to years of Bran led scenes, chapters and other media, I’m firmly on team Jaime. Hell, I’d be all for watching him throw him out again. God bless the rewind button.

I know I’m not alone with this. Too bad the end result leads to even more boring Bran storylines. Once again, Jaime fails to live up to his potential. Tywin would be so disappointed.

Halftime Discussion –

Dorthraki Weddings – So from the portrayal we see, a Dorthraki wedding that has less than 3 deaths is a boring affair. I don’t care how manly and bloodthirsty you are, if you keep killing your own soldiers at these affairs, you won’t have any army to conquer with. Maybe losing men during a celebration isn’t the best move. There’s also an insane amount of public sex going on, and this seems to be acceptable. These weddings are pretty much King Robert’s dream. If only he had seen this side of the Dorthraki – he might have pardoned Dany and joined in on the celebration.

I mean, there was no cake, no cocktail hour, and I didn’t see a band anywhere. It really was just Fight Club with more lethal ends to the brawls. At least the gifts were nice – 3 dragon eggs. I don’t think that’s what I’d want personally, but they did have some value. Other than eventually providing Dany with the best fighters in Westeros, this wasn’t a great day. Most girls and women dream of their wedding day. Dany got upstage by 4 Mortal Kombat rounds, and then several celebratory public romps. It certainly didn’t make her top 10 days, and we haven’t begun to talk about the after party.

If you’ve watched the show, and at this point if you haven’t, sorry for spoiling the series for you, you know that weddings don’t usually end happily ever after. In fact, the “best” wedding we’ve seen in the series is Sansa to Tyrion, and Sansa was aggressively depressed after it. But hey, at least nobody was killed. Seriously, that’s the bar than George RR Martin has set. I’d hate to see what Martin family weddings are like, which is particularly concerning as Martin is from the town I currently live in. If I see any long haired men with curved blades walking around, I’m getting out of Dodge.

 

What Didn’t Work

Having a young child watch a beheading – So, our main man Will (was Will named in the show? I doubt it, but let’s go with it) only makes it through another two scenes from the intro before being beheaded… by the series’ protagonist no less. This shows there really aren’t any clear good or bad guys, though Ramsay Bolton might have a strong opinion on that. These are people who have flaws. Ned Stark, the series protagonist *Insert Coughing Fit*, isn’t a perfect man, but he believes in honor. By breaking his Night Watch vow, Will faces Ned who serves as judge, jury and executioner, while not heeding the White Walker accusations. Will doesn’t even fight his sentence – and I think this shows what kind of man Ned is – honorable to a fault. He believes whoever gives the sentence should deliver the execution. Props to Ned for following through there. It leaves a mark on both Robb and Jon in their stints as leaders.

What’s not as good is Brandon Stark, a 10 year old boy, and eventually the series biggest asshole, is there to witness a beheading. Ned believes his son should watch and though his wife protests, he wins. I guess we’re in a different world but I don’t know if I’d have shown it to someone that age – especially when you already have Robb as the next in line. It seems unnecessary. Is this part of what makes Bran snap and becomes the world’s most boring character who dreams of becoming a tree. No, probably not. The only thing snapping in this episode is Bran’s lower limbs.

Too soon?

Catelyn’s Disdain for Jon – I understand her not being happy about the situation, but Cat’s anger at Jon is not fair to Jon. I mean, he really had no part in the act of his creation, affair or not, so I don’t get why she stares at Ned’s “illegitimate child” which such rage, or forces him to hide at the feast so nobody sees him. If Cat has ever right to be mad at Ned  though it also seems awfully suspect that Mr. Honor would have an affair in the first place, but leave that be for now. Her contempt for Jon is one of the reasons I never liked Cat, even though she needs up being right about a number of things. Boo to you and your judgement Mrs Stark.

Jorah’s Odd Placement – I don’t mean that Jorah feels out of place with his new Dorthraki friends – that is obvious. I mean that Jorah feels out of place in Game of Thrones as a whole. I don’t know why but his character on the show feels more modern than anyone else. Am I the only person in the world who thinks this? Even the way he talks feels different than basically any other character. I don’t know if he puts on a voice for the character, or if that’s his natural voice, but it’s just different. Not bad, but different. Even if he was in King’s Landing or at the Wall, he’d still stick out a bit to me. We even have his father as a comparison. Jeor Mormont couldn’t fit it to the Game of Thrones world better; the actor playing Jorah feels just slightly wrong.

Jorah feels like a guest character in a video game – Like how Sonic is playable in Smash Brothers. Jorah’s not a bad character, but I don’t know, seeing him on the re-watch makes him stand out a little bit and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Nobody is going to agree with this point – probably because nobody will understand it, but I’m pretty sure I’m right about this.

Dany’s consistent nudity – They didn’t even wait 14 seconds before they had Dany show her breasts. I mean, I doubt 90% of the male audience was complaining, but still. In fact, the only thing steamier than Dany in the scene was her bath water, which foreshadows her immunity to fire. So technical, they even had a justification. My eyes hurt from winking at the HBO executives who paid me to type this.

They really must have put an emphasis on not being shy when they did the casting for Khalessi. As the season’s go on, Emilia Clarke became a well respected actress, and wisely decided she’d prefer to be clothed. I’m sure there’s millions of teenage boys who sighed depressed on that day. I forgot how they pretty much made the birthday suit her wardrobe in season 1. She’s naked like all the time.

Viserys –  I forgot all about Dany’s shit brother Viserys who’s up there for biggest douche of season one with Joffrey and Bran*. Looking forward to seeing his death again. It’s a toss up between him selling his sister to an arrange marriage to people he considers savages, striping his sister naked to ogle her (She’s naked again!), or when he says “I’d let 40,000 Dorthraki rape you if I got the throne”. I mean, that’s not a loving brother, now is it? I’d love to wake the Dragon upside his head a few times. I hope that doesn’t sound sexual. I meant more like Blunt trauma…

I hope that didn’t sound like smoking weed.

I wish harm on the bad person. That’s better.

Dany Drogo’s Post Wedding Scene – And here we are at the most uncomfortable scene in the show. Remember – if you were reading the books, Dany is only 13. And now, I again question why everyone likes his show. This won’t be the most uncomfortable moment of the series – not close, friends! But boy did I look away a couple of times. I feel like this might be a re-watch I need a bartender with me for.

What a painful way to end episode 1. Oh boy – let’s watch the second episode!

Counts

Death – 3 Night Watchman, 1 Deer/Stag, 1 Dire Wolf, 1 Dorthraki, Bran’s Legs (Plus A bunch off screen killed by wildings I’m not counting)

Boobs – 4 1/2 (We saw one but not the pair at the wedding).

Needless Graphic Sex– 3

*Bran’s winning, don’t worry.