Vintage Review – Rugrats

Do you remember the 90s? Of course you do. If you’re on here, you’re either old enough to remember the full decade, or clueless on 98% of the content. In this new series, created mostly out of boredom and increased free time, Bloggin Hood and friends (but mostly Bloggin Hood) will re-watch classic shows of yesteryear. This could be a cartoon, family show, or game show. I left the tradition “adult” sitcoms and shows out of this. You don’t need me to tell you Seinfeld is funny. However, what you may remember about these shows from your youth is misguided.

Nostalgia blinds us all, like a poor, uneducated 3^rd grader who stares at the sun for a few seconds too long. Somebody needs to determine whether these favorites growing up were as good as we remember, or the victim of hot smoldering nostalgia. With each show, I’ll review a specific episode. If I’m familiar with the show, it’ll be a randomly selected one, or one I particularly remember being great. If I’m not that familiar, I’ll watch the first episode to judge it. For shows I know, I’ll touch on the characters, and my recollection of the show. Then I will review, as non-bias as I can, if the show stands. You might think as a 30+ year old adult, I won’t like most of these kids shows. But again, if you think that, you’ve literally skipped every other post. Good work.

Today, we will decide if Rugrats is phat or wack. You try coming up with more updated 90 terms. I dare you.

Concept

Babies and Toddlers experience everyday events through their own eyes and react accordingly. It sounds obvious, but for its time, Rugrats was unique. At the same time, the adults have their own story lines, with mixed results. Let’s me honest: nobody tuned into Rugrats to see what Drew Frigging Pickles was up too. Hell, Lou’s wife doesn’t give a shit what Drew is up to, but we’ll get there.

However, on this rewatch, I think the best character thus far, and arguably the best animated performance of all time was an adult. That, my friends, is what we call a tease.

Theme Song

It’s an iconic song, though it was never my favorite. Imagine a lullaby, but upbeat. If babies had a night club, this could be on DJ Binky’s playlist. I don’t know how to describe it, so I came up with DJ Binky. This is the content that took 10 days to produce.

Perception

Rugrats was one of Nickelodeon’s flagship shows. Without out, Nick isn’t a 90s juggernaut. Instead, it became one of, if not the, top channel for kids. Personally, Rugrats never was must watch TV for a young Bloggin Hood. It was fine. But there were better shows. Your mileage may vary. I expected Rugrats to hold up well. Think a solid B, B- show

Characters

Tommy – A lot of the times, I don’t enjoy the main character of show much, but Tommy is clearly the best kid on this show.. Tommy’s perspective is much smarter than an infants (as far as we know), but with enough questions and misunderstanding that it’s believable. Belieavble-ish? He’s the clear leader of the children, brave but not overly so, and usually has a plan.

His voice is an issue though. It’s the large, squeaky, nails on the chalkboard elephant in the room. I get it – Tommy is 18 months old. He’s not going to have a smooth baritone voice. I dealt with it fine for one episode, but if went for a second, I’d have started to hate him. This never bothered me when I was younger. Is this my “Get off my lawn” moment? I sure hope not. There’s 70 more shows on my list.

Chuckie – For being scared all the time, Chuckie didn’t annoy me as much as I thought he would. Yes, he’d probably cry if he saw milk in the wrong glass, but he’s very likable. I want to root for the kid.

He also worships the ground Tommy walks on and that’s not great, especially when Tommy is younger. Remember, if you worship your friends, they aren’t your friends. They’re your idols. That’s today’s Bloggin hood lesson. You’re all welcome.

Angelica – Oh man. I mean, going in I knew she was a bossy, demanding character, but she’s just straight up the worst. She has a rough voice (not as bad as Tommy), a superiority complex, and she loves blaming the babies for any issues. She’s a necessary evil for the show, and great in the role, but she might be too good at being bad. Maybe she’ll be better in Rugrats: All Grown Up. I’m kidding. We’re pretending that show never happened.

Phil & Lil – Generic non characters who only add the character count and a second girl. They provide nothing.

No I’m serious, they suck.

Stu – An inventor who seems more clueless at parenting than most, Stu gives parents at home some hope. Like “Hey, if that disgrace can raise somebody like Tommy, I can probably raise a future president!” Then again, in 2024, we might have Snooki VS Flava Flav for the White House. The presidency is a low bar. I legitimately think that’s Stu’s purpose, because the writers forgot to give him a personality. He’s still significantly better than his brothers.

Drew – I don’t know if I’m allowed to call a cartoon character a cuck, but Drew Pickles is a giant cuck. I mean, his wife wears the pants, the trousers, the sweats, and the business suits in this relationship. Lou is the ultimate beta male. Now, being a beta isn’t a big thing. But in this case, it means everyone walks all over him. His wife shows him no respect whatsoever. The adults show more respect to Angelica, his three year old daughter, than him. Remember, when life gets you down, think of Drew Pickles, and you’ll feel a ton better.

Didi – The constant overprotective mother that Bloggin Hood could relate to, Mrs. Pickles doesn’t take nearly enough heat for losing her kids all the time. If you’re always that concerned with your kid’s safety, why is Tommy lost in every other episode? Didi also doesn’t get nearly enough credit for having some of the crazier hair in cartoon history. It’s no Marge Simpson, but she could appear in Yu-Gi-Oh and nobody would bat an eye.

Grandpa Lou – Now, finally, we get to an adult character I can respect. I don’t respect the Pickles men all having rhyming names, but at least Lou is a decent character. One of the few adults who gets to combine wit and sensibility in the whole series. This doesn’t mean he’s perfect. He’s regularly allowed the kids to run free while he naps. Still, I didn’t cringe when he was on the screen, which puts him at second place for adults.

Boris – Here’s the gold medal winner. Easily the best character on Rugrats, and the best animated character I’ve seen thus far. If I didn’t have Kenan and Kel on the rewatch list, Boris might be the #1 overall character. Now, Boris is a bit character. He doesn’t appear often. How did he earn a paragraph when people like Chuckie’s dad didn’t? I’ll tell you why – Boris does not give a shit. His jokes should not be on a kid’s show. You’ll see exactly what I mean in a moment.

I will not be discussing Dill Pickles. The name should be more than enough. If it’s not, remember that Dill’s addition made the show significantly worse. I’m here to talk about OG Rugrats. If you want the watered down crap, go to another website.

Please don’t go to another website.

Rugrat episodes were two 11 minute segments, so we will review both. I chose this episode for the Mysterious Mr Fiend episode. However, that was not the highlight of today’s review. Not even close.

Home Movies Episode Review

If you’re to young to remember what home movies are, God Bless you. Everyone believes that the era they grew up in was the best in history. Home movies is proof that my era was not . In the past, families, usually with fathers like Stu Pickles, forced friends and family to come over and watch recordings of vacations or milestone events. Nobody gave a shit, but everyone still showed up. I don’t really understand why. The movies were poorly shot, and as boring as you could imagine. They were instruments of torture, yet no government agency stepped in to end the suffering. For decades, citizens watched, horrified at the next invitation to homemade video content.

Fortunately, technology killed the home movie before legal action was required. Today, Facebook and Instagram posts summarize everything. Normal people see photos and videos they care about and ignore the fluff. Social media is a huge net negative on society. Still, it’s effect on home movies can’t be overlooked. There’s an easy Kim Kardashian joke in all of this, but I’m above that. Maybe. We’ll see how the rest of this entry goes.

If you don’t believe Home Movies sucked, consider the episode’s opening. Boris, my main man, pretends to have a heart attack to escape. This is a children’s show, revolving around infants, and we have a death joke. Boris is a national treasure. And this isn’t his most offensive joke!

Stu, naturally, is the director of tonight’s performance. He struggles working the projector, and nearly dies when his tie gets caught in it. In 30 seconds, we have two jokes about death. Is Rugrats the darkest show of all time? At this pace, yes, yes it is.

The babies don’t understand what home movies are, and share different opinions. In a rare moment of clarity, Angelica explains they are worse TV but it’s the law to watch them. I think she explained it better than my intro. The babies leave to make their own home movies. That’s a shame, I thought they would know better.

The audience portrayal is spot on, arguably the most realistic Nickelodeon scene of the 90s. Grandpa Lou hates his son’s tape and checks out after 3 seconds. I thought that was bold, until we cut back to Boris. Boris is on the phone, asking the operator to connect him to Dr. Kevorkian.

If case you’ve forgotten, or suppressed the knowledge, Dr. Kevorkian was a controversial doctor most infamous for promoting and participating in assisted suicides.

Damn that’s dark.

I don’t think this joke flies on prime time today. I could see it on HBO or “mature” comedies like Always Sunny. This line was in a Rugrats episode. When I heard that, I rewatched the episode from the beginning. I believed somebody dubbed over a Rugrat episode with tasteless jokes. Nope, this was the intended line. This is the darkest line we’ll hear during this series. I don’t think I’d have the stones to write that line. Frigging Boris did though. These are the only lines the character has today, and he’s far and away the MVP. I need to order a Boris plushie.

The episode really declines from here as there’s only more innocent, child friendly dialogue. Boring.

In another room, the babies decide to make their own home movies by drawing on stacks of paper they found. Angelica goes first because she’s a spoiled brat. She debuts her movies with a loud theme song composed of her screaming. I had to remove a headphone to avoid ear damage. Her story emphasizes her being spoiled, including forcing her father to give her whatever she wants. Angelica quickly becomes a giant and threatens to stomp on the babies. Despite this being a drawing, Chuckie gets scared and begs Angelica to stop. Angelica forces Chuckie to go next. This leads to a decent exchange.

Angelica: Chuckie can’t draw his way out of a paper bag.

Tommy: Why would he?

I liked it. It’s no Boris punchline, but what is?

Chuckie’s story is more disturbing. It starts off very sad, showing Chuckie being scared of everything, ranging from a poodle, bluebirds, a rain cloud and frogs. Dude, you’re in charge of the story. Give yourself a backbone. Instead, he draws Tommy saving him from all his trouble. Tommy is a superhero, with a costume and everything. Chuckie again puts Tommy, a baby younger than he is, on a pedestal. That’s not healthy. Tommy says it’s the best home movie he’s ever seen. Oh really? The story that hyped you as a walking God? Can’t imagine why you enjoyed it.

Tommy goes next and can only draw scribbles. Tommy says he doesn’t have motor skills. Phil and Lil (oh yeah, they’re there but added nothing. Shocking) say the drawings are perfect. More smoke up Tommy’s ass. Does he have a massive ego in “All Grown Up”. Damn it. I might have to watch an episode to see.

In the middle of Tommy’s story, Angelica tries to hijack it. The babies all fight for control, until the parents walk in. The parents, looking to escape the movies, feign relief to find the children. Drew freaks out – the paper used were important documents for his job. Nobody gives an iota of a shit, celebrating the scribbles instead. I mean, I guess it’s better than home movies. Drew panics further, but nobody cares. Even his wife continues to talk to “Jonathan” who is definitely her not so secret lover. Poor Drew. Ah, I’m sure it’ll get better.

No it won’t.

The episode ends on a high note. Boris appears and has not been euthanized. Thank god.

The Mysterious Mr Fiend Episode Review.

Episodes like this make me question the target audience of cartoons. Sure, Rugrats has always been a kid’s show. But who in the target demographic will understand this opening? In a parody of Dr. Frankenstein, Stu Pickles creates a new toy. As a parody, its not bad. However, the only one understanding the reference are adults. In the 90s, this makes sense. Parents watched TV episodes with their kids. The writers threw them a few bones. Then again, maybe I’m just justifying re-watching cartoons for a blog post. Let’s not think about it much.

I do wonder if Rugrats came out today, would this scene still exist? Parents are on their phone not paying attention anyway. Point is, this is the first of two obvious parodies, and I thought both were done well.

Stu, a struggling toy creator, manages to produce a robotic clown with heat sensors and recorded phrases. Aren’t heat sensors incredible technology for a child’s toy in the 90s? Shouldn’t Stu be heralded as a genius? Instead, Didi hears one of the toy’s lines, and dismisses the project entirely. Stu gets no credit. Jeez. I guess humiliation runs in the Pickles’ bloodline. No wonder Grandpa Lou is ornery all the time.

Chuckie and Tommy play with a jack in the Box. Chuckie wants Tommy to stop, fearing the “Jerk in the box”. This is a bad sign. On queue, Stu drops off his state of the art toy that Didi thinks is shit. He calls it “Mr. Friend” which the boys change to “Mr. Fiend.” Mr. Fiend speaks, and the boys scream in fear. The clown stutters through lines, and races toward the babies. He only stops because his battery pops out. The two boys cry. Stu, ever the idiot savant, assumes they cried because the toy stopped working.

One knock on Stu’s genius is the dialogue of the toy. Didi harps on this, but she does have a point. Mr Fiend rhymes every lesson, and the lessons are poor at best. Maybe Stu could make a rival toy to improve his parenting skills? Nah, he’ll just work on some more death toys.

That night, Tommy is sound asleep. Stu decides his son needs a bunk matte, and places Mr. Fiend in the crib. He immediately screams. Stu takes this to mean he should make more of the toy. Remember earlier when I called Stu a genius? I’m now convinced he stole the technology for heat sensors from somebody who wasn’t a complete moron.

The next day Phil and Lil pretend to have personalities by fighting over Mr. Fiend. Why is Mr. Fiend back with the kids again? And why the hell are Phil and Lil there? Don’t the other kids have homes?

Once the toy activates, all four kids fear the clown. Tommy leads the babies in combat against the toy, trying to get rid of him permanently. They throw him threw the laundry chute, but Stu returns it. Later, after sacrificing another toy, Mr. Fiend shuts down. The children bury him and give him a funeral. I guess we’ll make more death jokes.

Stu decides to complete his project. He manages to create 12 new toys overnight. How can one man be so impressive and so dumb at the same time? While he does mention they still need work, he fails to shut one off. The 12 toys activate, and walk into the lawn toward the children from a window. At the same time, the OG Mr. Fiend arises from the grave. They parody the Terminator here, showing Mr. Fiend’s point of view just like old Arnold. Again, well done, if a bit on the nose.

Tommy has had enough. He says he will not be consumed by fear (seems strong by a 1 year old, but ok) and tricks Mr. Fiend into walking out of the yard through a hole in the fence. Before he can celebrate, the other fiends arrive. Lil says “Boy, this is one of those days” which was funny. Wow, even Lil contributes to the episode.

Then, we have a battle of babies vs toys. This action sequence was better than anything from Kingdom hearts 3. The babies win, leaving a pile of clown parts. Good for the clowns. Stu arrives, depressed that his toys are destroyed. Didi says she should take a run at the pool boy, though nobody hears it.

As the babies celebrate their victory, Angelica arrives. She’s overjoyed she found the coolest toy. You guessed it – it’s Mr. Fiend, looking more robotic, just like the terminator. The episode ends with a “The End?” appearing. I love that touch. Force Nick’s hand into having you write a sequel. T2 anyone?

Review

This was ok. While there was a few parts I thought were great, most of the episodes were slow, and tough to watch. But my man Boris would make anything better.

Review: Phat, by the slimmest definitions.