GOT Review – Episode 3 – Lord Snow

Summary – Ned arrives at King’s Landing and finds out the kingdom maxed out their credit cards. Jon finally starts training and is hated by everyone for existing. Littlefinger reveals that he’s a total bastard. Dany is pregnant and knows it’s a boy somehow. Tyrion pees off the side of the Wall.

Quotes 

“They never tell you how they all shit themselves. They don’t put that part in the songs. Stupid boy. Now the Tarly’s bend the knee like everyone else. He could have lingered on the edge of the battle with the smart boys, and today his wife would be making him miserable, his sons would be ingrates, and he’d be waking three times in the night to piss into a bowl.” – Robert Baratheon

Robert utters these words when discussing with Barristan Selmy about his first kill. Robert first says he never forgets the face of anyone he’s killed. Yet at the same time, he doesn’t remember Lyanna’s face. You know, the woman who was supposed to be the love of his life. That’s telling that Robert can remember people he murdered far better than anyone he supposedly loved. Rulers probably should be loved over feared, but my guess is Robert’s reign was based on fear and brutality. And that’s in the time of peace. It must suck to live in the Game of Thrones world.

Robert Baratheon: What about Aerys Targaryen? What did the Mad King say when you stabbed him in the back? I never asked. Did he call you a traitor? Did he plead for a reprieve?

Jaime Lannister: He said the same thing he’d been saying for hours… “Burn them all”.

[Robert gapes at Jaime]

Jaime Lannister: If that’s all, Your Grace…

[Jaime bows to Robert and Selmy, then leaves the room]

A bit later in the same conversation, Jamie is summoned into the King’s room to discuss his first kill. When he gives an unsatisfactory answer, Robert presses about the Mad King, a subject Jaime does not like talking about. His honest answer stuns even Bobby B. Then Jaime just exits. As much as a dick Jaime is throughout the first season of the show, and he’s quite a huge one, there’s sprinklings of scenes that show he’s not a complete asshole. Usually, these are scenes added by the showrunners, and oddly enough, I think they do a pretty good job… for now. It’s nice that Jaime actually gets some character development.

What Worked

Ned Vs Jaime – I love that the show continues to build up the Jaime vs Ned rivalry. They stand for everything the other doesn’t. Jaime broke a sacred oath, though he ultimately saved the kingdom for it. Ned believes strictly in honor and hates Jaime for his attitude and his broken vow, even though it helped Ned’s goal of overthrowing the mad king. Jaime oddly tries to justify his actions by reminded Ned that his father and brother were killed by the mad king. That’s… that’s not great people skills. Ned doesn’t give even the slightest of shits about Jaime. As the season goes, the rivalry between these two will continue to bubble until we get a showdown. The show did a good job here.

Tyrion Being Jon’s Bro – As soon as Jon steps into Castle Black, he’s already got issues. Alliser Thorne hates Jon Snow, for reasons that can only be described as being a dick. I mean, I get that he lived in a castle, likely in significantly better conditions than the average Night Watch member, but he was still a bastard. It’s not as though he got a lot of respect. His last frigging name is Snow. He has to live with that for the rest of his life. I get the rest of the Night’s Watch being jealous of Snow, but Thorne just seems like a huge jackass.

I also don’t remember Jon being this God level fighter in comparison to the other trainees, but that could be in the books as he would have been trained properly. Jon does nothing to make any friends. Fortunately, Tyrion does what he cane to help out. He opened his eyes to the types of people in the Watch on the way to the Wall, and he pushes Jon to train the rest of the Night’s Watch so he can have allies as opposed to enemies. Without Tyrion’s early influence, Jon would likely have been miserable or dead very early on. Even this early, there’s one Lannister people like.

Bobby B – We’ve already touched on it in the opening, but the discussion between Robert and Barristan Selmy’s on their first kill is telling. Robert remembers almost every minute detail of his battle with his first of likely many kills, but can’t remember Lyanna’s face. I think that shows who Robert is – he discusses taunting his first kill and drinks all the available wine. He’s deeper than the surface seems, but the waters are still pretty shallow.

He also taunts Jaime for having to guard his door while he does god knows what – usually some sort of sexual act with his sister. He ridicules Jaime’s first kill, while the two kings guard members compliment each other’s skills. Only when Jaime utters the quote above about the mad king does Robert waiver. Again, all Bobby B knows is screwing, fighting and killing.

Dany vs Viserys– As Dany begins to feel more confident, her brother begins to fall down the pecking order. Dany has the Khals as her beck and call and Virerys has nothing. He had no idea what a bad spot he’s in right now. Viserys is so clueless that he actually thinks he’s in charge of what’s going on. Hilarious. Game of Thrones needs more characters to actively root against that have no chance of success. I mean, how long have the two Targaryens been with the Dorthraki? A week? And they’ve already accepted Dany and hate Viserys. Smart people.

Tyrion – The scene of Tyrion pissing off the wall is fantastic. That’s Tyrion in a nutshell. I have to compliment the wall’s integrity for not beginning to melt against pee. That’s some strong magic. Good work Bran the Builder.

It is a shame we don’t get another Tyrion and Jon meeting for an extremely long time. Jon probably doesn’t last at the Wall long without Tyrion’s guidance. Then again, he ultimately gets stabbed to death, so maybe his advice wasn’t so important.

What didn’t work

Cercei and Joffrey – In a rare moment of honesty, Joffrey admits he did nothing in the fight against Arya. Cersei, ever a surprisingly caring mother, tries to good advice, saying she’ll love her son no matter what. This is actually a kind, loving scene between a parent and child, rare to see in this show.

Wait, maybe not. Cersei actually says Joffrey can hate Sansa and sleep around with anyone else he chooses. I mean, is that the pot calling the kettle a man whore? Why would she really want her son to be like Robert? I’d say this is out of character, but this is what Cersei herself does, legit sleeping with nearly anyone that moves if it suits her needs. Forget what I said about the nice moment. This is bad parenting. Where’s child services when we need it?

Oh right, they are probably dead.

This scene makes the Lannisters the mustache twirling villains of season 1 without much wigging room. In reality, they are a little more complex than that, but they don’t do themselves favors as the series goes on.

Littlefinger – Littlefinger’s whorehouse is yet another excuse for boobs. I mean, sure, I guess it shows he’s has no morals. This is shown as Littlefinger pins the assassination attempt on Tyrion. This is the first of many examples of Littlefinger pulling something out of his ass and it working. He obviously wants the Lannisters and Starks to fight, but it seems like a pure stroke of luck when the full picture is revealed. I’m not going to say Littlefinger is crafty and able to react well in any situation, but some of his scheme works from sheer luck and the other characters being dumbasses. On the plus, Ned nearly chokes out Littlefinger as if he was nothing. Just like your big brother Ned. Good work.

Also, Cat, did you really say that Littlefinger is a true friend who never hurt you? Jesus Christ no wonder all the Starks frigging die.

Bran – Oh great, Bran’s alive. Yippie. It’s a real shame that assassin didn’t do his job.

What does Bran do to celebrate his new found lease on life? Why, he’s being an asshole to the elderly saying Old Nan’s stories suck. Can’t we send in another, more skilled assassin? Where’s the mountain at? I mean, what an ungrateful child. She’s trying to comfort Bran and all he can do is whine about his limbs not working. How about showing a little respect?

Oh, and Old Nan eludes to the White Walkers in her “terrible story”. That would be important, but I can’t concentrate on anything now. That’s for being such a dickhole, Bran.

Dany’s Baby – How does Dany actually know the sex of the baby? Woman’s intuition? Because I’m not accepting Woman’s intuition.

I don’t have a problem with anything else in this scene other that that. Oh, and Viserys feeling very uncomfortable knowing a baby is on the way is hilarious. It’s funny to watch him suffer anxiety of being easily replaceable.

Death – 0

Boobs – 2

Needless Graphic Sex – 0

This was a light episode.