GOT Review: Episode 25- Kissed by Fire

Summary – The Hound fights for his life, Beric takes a bloody nap, Arya loses more people she cares about, Jon makes the sex, Jaime opens up, Qyburn lights a stump on fire, Sansa has hope, Tyrion is talked down to a lot, Grey Worm appears, Barristan and Jorah measure their uhh swords, Stannis is a bad father, Stannis wife sucks, Shireen and Davos are treasures.

Quote

Jaime: Stark? You think the honorable Ned Stark wanted to hear my side? He judged me guilty the moment he set eyes on me. By what right does the wolf judge the lion? By what right?

Brienne: Guards! The Kingslayer!

Jaime: Jaime… my name is Jaime.

Yes, I did skip all the confession and the true about slaying the mad king. All of that was terrific. But this is where we get the true Jaime. The one scarred by all the judgment he faces for doing what he calls his greatest act (hard to argue) and just how much he hates his identity as the king slayer. Was this the most interesting part of the scene? Probably not. But boy do we learn a lot about Jaime in these five minutes. This is where people fell for Jaime, a character who was the main villain in season 1. I give all the credit to Martin here, as his slow burn of Jaime from dick bag to beloved anti hero is impressive.

What works:

Trial by Combat – While I’m never going to accept this as the proper choice for deciding guilt, this was a great fight and an awesome way to start an episode.

Thoros is fully invested in the Lord of Light, and it’s interesting to hear him repeat some of Melisandra’s phrases while he prays for justice and Beric. The Lightning Lord has Thoros cut his hand and then uses Thoros’ own trick, igniting his sword. This isn’t just for show. Imagine being charged at by a flaming sword? Yeah, you’d be scared to. It’s not a great sign for the hound, who trembles at the flames as the battle starts.

During the battle, you can see the fear of fire in the Hound’s face. What he thought would be an easy duel is now a battle for survival. While Beric is good and has the fear advantage, there’s a reason the Hound was Joffrey’s servant. The Hound grows increasingly pissed every time he’s near fire, and his strikes have significantly more force than Beric’s. When the Hound’s shield catches on fire, he begins to panic, but overcomes it, stopping Beric’s rush and cuts him through the shoulder, killing him. Thoros rushes to Beric’s aid, already praying (keep that in mind) while the Hound tries to beat the flames off his clothes. In many ways, this was the Hound conquering his fears.

After the fight, Arya rushes to try and stab the Hound, but Anguy prevents it, saying the Gods have spoken. That’s not good enough for Arya, but there’s nothing she’s capable of doing. The Hound taunts Arya, saying the gods prefer him over the butcher boy. So yeah, conquering fire wasn’t really a rebirth. He’s still a jerk, but a victorious one. I also like the brotherhood not giving the Hound his gold back until “after the war”. It shows both sides of this fight were morally grey. This was just a good, good start to a solid episode.

Finally they get it over with: After being threatened by both Tormund and Orell, Ygritte says that Jon owes her a debt, and steals his sword. This isn’t a euphemism, yet, but oh boy it’s coming.

That also wasn’t a euphemism.

Ygritte leads him to an underground cave with the sole purpose of banging him. She gets naked and Jon looks like a puppy dog. He tries to resist as long as he can, which is an impressive seven seconds and then it’s on. I mean, full on. We don’t see much, which is rare but there’s a heavy handed implication on what Jon was doing. Afterwards, Ygritte mocks Jon for being a virgin previously. That’s a good way to start pillow talk. Ygritte then goes into too much detail about her past partners, which leads to a genuine funny line from Jon saying he’s heard enough. You can’t blame him.

Ygritte tells Jon she never wants to leave the cave. It’s romantic in the “These two characters really haven’t shared much dialogue and only had ranging hormones going” kind of way. Also, I don’t care how warm those springs are. There’s no way that cave was warm. This whole scene was strictly teenagers (although we don’t know how old Ygritte is) just giving in to there desires. But, I mean, for Game of Thrones this is the most romantic scene this side of Robb Stark.

Jaime’s defiance: We’ll be talking a great deal of smack about Roose Bolton in the surprisingly near future, but for what he isn’t (honorable, decent, hairy), he’s not dumb. When Locke presents Jaime Lannister and Brienne as prisoners, he immediately realizes the damage that could have been done. At first, I thought Bolton was joining Locke in mocking Jaime for losing his hand, but I think he was really just in shock. He quickly promises good rooms for the two, and gives Jaime the good news about the Blackwater… though he slow rolls it as painfully as possible. Bolton orders Jaime to be taken to Qyburn to be looked at. That’s not good.

Qyburn’s opening line is mentioning he is not a maester because of his dangerous experiments. Jaime refuses to have his arm cut off and demands another option, threatening to kill Quburn with his less dominant, and only remaining, hand. Qyburn’s offer is to basically burn out the poison. I don’t believe that’s appropriate medical procedures, but Jaime will not be maimed further and agrees. He also refuses milk of the poppy and decides he will scream through the pain. Which, he of course, he does, really loudly. But just him wanting to tough it out shows Jaime has some fight left in him. He will pay for it later, but that’s fine.

Jaime’s confession – When Brienne bathes, Jaime walks in naked and joins her. Brienne is ashamed to be seen naked, but Jaime says not to worry about. Jaime mocks Brienne for not getting him to King’s Landing in one piece and for letting Renly die, which enrages Brienne, standing naked in front of him. I wonder if it was a play by him to see her naked? Maybe…but we’re jumping the gun here. He immediately apologizes, and says Brienne has protected him better than most could have. Jaime talks about how he’s only seen looks of disgust for 17 years, being called Kingslayer and oath breaker, commenting on the look Brienne has given him.

Then, he begins to tell his story, beginning with the mad king’s obsession with fire. He loved burning anyone he didn’t like. The Mad King ordered wild fire to be planted throughout the city. When Robert was marching to the capital, Tywin beat him there. Tywin promised to protect the King, but Jaime knew something was up. Jaime even told the mad king this, urging him to surrender peacefully. The only person who Aerys listened to was Pycelle, who said the Lannisters were true friends of the crown. Who in the world ever listens to Pycelle? Aerys opened the gates and the city was immediately sacked. See why we dont listen to Pycelle?

Jaime again asked for the king to surrender, but was instead ordered to kill his father and deliver his head. The mad king then told the pyromancer, cause who doesn’t have one of those, to burn the entire city. This would have cost hundreds of thousands of lives.

Jaime responded by killing the pyromancer and then the king, stabbing him in the back as he was running. The mad king believed he would be reborn as a dragon if the city burned, similar to Dany, so Jaime slit his throat just in case he was right. This is when Ned Stark walked in. Jaime believes that Ned would have never have listened to the story, judging him before any words were shared.

Then we get two of the deepest moments Jaime has. He nearly cries, asking how could the wolf judge the lion. I think Ned’s immediate judgment scarred him. We see how antagonistic he is toward Ned in season 1, and this explains it. He’s held a grudge – Ned’s the first person to judge Jaime’s actions without hearing the story, and while he certainly won’t be the last, that moment sticks out. In many ways, Ned is the physical manifestation of all the judgment he feels.

Jaime then passes out, due to the heat and the “procedure” from Qyburn. Brienne calls out for help for the “kingslayer”, but corrects her saying his name is Jaime. Again, I think this shows how much the judgment has hurt him. As he explains, telling his side of the story would never go over well. He was judged the moment the mad king died, and his best act is considered by many to be unforgivable. The Jaime redemption arc begins now with some minor, possibly botched consent, speedbumps along the way.

I mean, this might be one of the 5 best scenes in the show, and theirs no murder, no curses, and no nudity…kind of. I mean, we get a butt shot if you’re into that sort of thing.

Olenna Outwits Tyrion?! – Meeting with Olenna, Tyrion wants to discuss finances. Tyrion is worried about the cost of the wedding, which Olenna helped plan. Tyrion says it’s too expensive with the war going on. Olenna quotes the insane numbers of supplies and men the Tyrell’s are providing, flexing how important they are to the war. Olenna says the wedding is important to satisfy the people, keeping them distracted from any real issues, heavily implying of revolts occurring within the city walls. She also calls Tyrion nothing but a bookkeeper instead of a drunk as she had hoped. Not really an insult or compliment there. Honestly, I’m not sure what that was.

Olenna finally decides to pay for half of the wedding and leaves. That didn’t take very long. Tyrion, temporarily, feels successful here, but didn’t really do anything. Unlike the normal ways where Tyrion loses an argument, typically from his father, here he loses a battle of wits, but it’s lighthearted, and technically, he gets what he wants.

I wonder if Olenna agrees to pay since she knows what’s the main event of the wedding.

Meet Grey Worm -Dany meets with the heads of the Unsullied and asks them to select a leader. They have chosen Grey Worm. The Unsullied don’t really get the pick of the litter when it comes to names. Dany offers him to choose a new name if they would like. Grey Worm decides to keep his own, as it’s lucky – he was freed with that name. Although it’s subtle, it shows that these group of unstoppable warriors respect Grey Worm the most, so he must be a great warrior. We’ll get a lot of good Grey Worm scenes throughout the series, so the establishment here is important, if only for the future.

Shireen, GOT’s nicest character – After learning Davos is in the dungeon, Shireen goes to visit her friend. Davos tells her to leave immediately, afraid for her safety. Shireen asks if Davos is a traitor, which he says he is. Shireen doesn’t care and still calls him her friend. She tries to give Davos books, but Davos never learned how to read. Shireen insists that she will teach him. Davos really doesn’t know know to counter this so he doesn’t dismiss her as she begins to teach them. This is a rare sweet moment in the show, and Shireen probably has 90% of them.

Remember this when we get to season 6.

What doesn’t work:

Revival – After the Trial by Combat – you know, the one where Beric was killed, Thoros rushes over to pray by him. We don’t see anything, but after the Hound taunts Arya, Beric speaks, somehow already recovered from his wounds. He’s the one that ultimately dismisses the Hound, saying the God has judged this battle.

Now, the scene is fine, great even, but there’s a significant issue here. Doesn’t this scene confirm that the Red God is real? If so, all these other religions – the 7, the old gods, the stupid drowned god – they are all pointless and wrong. If you aren’t on Team Red, you’re losing. No wonder Stannis burnt all those people.

Then again, Beric did lose a fight and had to be revived… Ehh, it’s complicated, but Religion wise, we have our answer. Any and every religious scene from this point forward is meaningless. Boy are we going to have a lot of didn’t work scenes involving Cersei in seasons 5-6.

Arya loses everyone – Also after the Trial by Combat, Gendry has decided to stay on with the Brotherhood. Arya thinks this is crazy, and says that he should join Robb’s cause. Gendry says his done taking orders from kings, and likes how the Brotherhood is more of a family. Arya says she could be a part of her family, but Gendry shoots it down, saying she would be ruling over him.

Later, after Thoros lets Arya know the Brotherhood will return Arya to her mother and brother (for gold), Beric enters and confirms he died. Thoros and Beric describe all the times he has died since hunting the Lannisters – 6 timesin all, and typical the result on Gregor Clegame. He explains that pieces of himself feel they are chipped away and he’s not the man he once was. This is true, as the actor was recasted.

All of this discussion is to set up what might be the hardest line to stomach in the series. Arya asks if a man beheaded could be brought back. It’s a honest, sad question. Beric says Ned is at rest, and he’d never wish his fate on another man. Arya says she would, since Beric is still alive.

The “what doesn’t work” scenes I select aren’t always bad scenes. This one in particular was excellent. However, they are hard to watch. This is one of the last times we see Arya as a young girl and not an assassin. In a matter of one day, she’s lost her chance at vengeance, her friend (and that’s all he is, you dirty shippers) and her hope and bringing back her father. It’s going to be a long while before she gets any relief.

Jon the sellout – While heading toward the wall, Jon is questioned about the Night Watch Patrol. He gives some basic info but tries to avoid giving much. That doesn’t last long, as Jon gives info that only 3 of the 19 castles are manned, and which castles that are manned. Orell clearly doesn’t trust him, causing Jon to threaten him. All the men (and Ygritte) are ready to throw down. Tormund says he likes Jon, but will kill him if he’s a liar. Jon holds firm on his count of Castle Black men – 1,000.

To be honest, I don’t remember if the three castles he names or the count of men at Castle Black are correct. What I don’t like is, how is the audience supposed to know? Have they even mentioned other Night Watch posts, other than maybe a throwaway line in season 1? It’s bad enough to watch old Snowy betray his friends, but beign confused if he’s betraying anyone makes it worse.

Everybody hates the Starks– As we’ve been forced to discuss ad nauseum, Lord Karstark wants revenge on the Lannisters. Here, he gets it, by taking 5 soldiers and killing two Lannister children who asked for mercy and couldn’t defend himself. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

They are later presented to Robb, who’s furious, yet still maintains what makes him so compelling on the show. When Karstark is brought in with his men, he mocks them, asking why it took 5 armed men to kill two children. Karstark calls it vengeance but Robb calls it child murder. Karstark continues to blame Cat for this, and mocks Robb for feeding prisoners during war. He goes as far as to say his father didn’t teach him well, which is met with a punch from the Blackfish. In the end, Robb orders everyone hung, but Karstark. One of the men sentenced to be hung shouts he was only a lookout. Robb orders him to watch everyone die first, then be hung.

Robb receives council from Edmure that this info cannot leave Riverrun, but Robb isn’t dumb enough to listen to that guy. He also doesn’t want to be branded a liar to top of everything as well. Despite everyone counseling Robb to not kill Karstark, and likely lose the support of a significant portion of his troops, Robb is going to go through it. Robb is a man of too much honor to let this act slide, and it was long overdue. At the beheading, Karstark taunts Robb by saying he’s a kinslayer for doing this. After his last words of “kill me and be cursed” Robb beheads the man in one pass (I see you Theon) and moves on.

The Karstarks do leave, and Robb loses half his army. It seems like there’s nowhere for them to go. Talisa offers a few options on where they could go, but all are dead ends. That is until Robb thinks of a plan. He will take Casterly Rock, which involves receiving men from Walder Frey, the man he slighted by marrying Talisa. That’s not good. Ah well. I’m sure Frey is forgiving.

Stannis’ creepy Wife- A couple of issues with Stannis’ wife. Firstly, she prays to the Red God when we first see her. That means she’s cool with the human sacrifices. She’s such a fanatic, that when Stannis tries to admit his infidelity, she says she knows, and actually wept with joy. I mean, what? That’s like having a mega hall pass.

We also see that this room keeps all the stillborns that the two have had in weird glass jars. That’s the creepiest thing I’ve seen. Stannis mentions that he’s here to see his daughter, but her mother says it’s a distraction and to not bother. There’s the mother of the year. Makes sense why Stannis doesn’t visit her once before this episode.

Stannis, father of the year- Then again, it’s not like Stannis is doing well as a parent either. Shireen mentions that she hasn’t seen her father in a while, which is sad. Shireen asks about her friend Davos, which Stannis nearly immediately says is a traitor rotting in a dungeon. He then leaves flustered. I mean, that’s your interaction with your daughter? That’s shitty. That’s double shitty. He’ll, it might be super shitty.

We also learn Stannis’s wife doesn’t like Davos. No wonder he had sex with the Red Woman.

Sword measuring- Jorah and Barristan don’t seem to be friends. The two exchange war stories that leads to Barristan mention that Robert was a great warrior, a good man and an awful king. He wants to serve one good king in his life and asks Jorah if he believes in her. Jorah says he does (he believes in that booty)

As the convo continues, Barristan doesn’t think Jorah should serve on Dany’s council when she is queen. Westeros would frown on a slaver. I mean, Barristan is right. Jorah has to counter, and begins distrusting how Barristan believes himself to be part of the team. Jorah then shuts out Barristan, probably because he’s making good points. I mean, does Jorah think he’ll get a pass from being a horrific person?

Everyone is a spy: During a pleasant conversation with Sansa, Margarey mentions that the marriage to Loras will likely happen very soon at the royal wedding. Sansa watches Loras lovingly train. However, Loras has other, more dick like things on his mind, and jumps in bed with the first man to compliment him. Way to grieve for Renly.

The man he slept with is an agent of Littlefinger’s, cause of course. Why wouldn’t he have male escorts that nobody has seen before? It makes perfect sense. The spy gives info that the Kinght of Flowers is engaged to Sansa. That’s info that Littlefinger needed.

Littlefinger meets with Sansa and tells her that he owns a single ship but wants more. Littlefinger mentions that Sansa wears her hair like Margarey. Sansa decides to pass when Littlefinger says he’ll be leaving soon. She thinks it’s best to wait for Littlefinger’s safety. This was a clear test by Littlefinger to see what Sansa’s intentions were. He knows the engagement is real and will act. And boy did he act fast.

Lannister Breeding Ranch: Tywin, Tyrion and Cersei all meet. It’s not much of a family reunion. Tyrion let’s Tywin know of the wedding savings, but he doesn’t care in the slightest.

Cersei told Tywin about the potential marriage of Sansa to Loras, reported to her by Littlefinger’s. Tywin states the Tyrell’s are trying to the steal the North. Tywin knows what’s happening with the Stark army and believes that Robb doesn’t have much time left. He also believes Bran and Rickon are dead. What a treat that would be. The Lannisters need to find Sansa a suitable arrangement. This becomes Tyrion.

Tyrion hates the idea of this wedding, knowing how badly Joffrey treated her. Tywin says this is better of honor then she deserves. Tyrion is clearly furious.

Tywin then turns things around saying Cersei will marry Ser Loras. Cersei refuses, but Tywin shouts she will do what she is commanded. It will form an alliance with a powerful house and prevent the Tyrells from feeling slighted. Cersei begs not to have to he married again. Tywin calls them both disgraces to the Lannister name and that they will do exactly what they are told. In fact, he says that Cersei is of age to breed, like she’s a cattle. Tywin’s legacy side is shown here, doing what’s best for house Lannister. But he also treats his children like Pokemon, trying to hatch better, more powerful children.

There’s also a lot of inbreeding in Pokemon egg hatching, so it fit for Cersei.

Both Cersei and Tyrion are furious. It’s rare these two are on the same page, but here is it. It’s an uncomfortable scene to end on. Sansa is going to be pissed.

 

Boobs – 1 pair kissed by fire, Brienne’s butt if that counts.

Death – Lannister kids, Lord Karstark,

Needlessly Graphic Sex – 2. The Ygritte/Jon scene wasn’t really needless, but it was graphic, Loras’s scene was both.