GOT Review: Episode 23 – Walk of Punishment
December 19, 2018
Summary:
Blackfish is a baller, Edmure is not a shot caller, Jon is sent to help scout the Night’s Watch, Sam has a pity party, Podrick comes up big, Tyrion gets another crappy job, Dany makes a bad trade like a Mets GM, Jaime loses about 5 pounds.
Quote:
Ser Jorah Mormont: “Rhaegar fouhgt valianty, Rhaegar fought nobly, and Rhaegar died”.
This is one of the central themes of Game of Thrones – playing the game fair only leads to ruins. Other than a select few characters, who were rather bias (I’m looking at you Bobby B), few people had anything negative to say about Rhaegar Targaryen. He was a leader, a true warrior and an artist. He was a man loved by most and destined for greatness. What did that all get him? A hammer in the chest at the Trident from Robert Baratheon. Not really the way I’d want to be rewarded, but whatever works.
What works
The Blackfish’s Intro – While other, much more whiny characters do not impress in their introduction, the Blackfish debuts with a bang. No, not that kind of bang, but I can understand why you’d think that way.
Taking the Bow and Arrow at his brother’s funeral, the Blackfish hits the boat carrying his father with a lit arrow, walking away while it lands. He doesn’t even watch the arrow fly. That’s a gangster move. We know this is not a man to mess with.
Later when meeting with Robb, he chastised Edmere regularly, and tells him to respect his king. It’s clear who the alpha of the family is.
We get the full gambit of emotions from a character, and he feels fleshed out for just being in three scenes. This is how you introduce somebody subtly. We saw an in your face awesome introduction last season with Brienne. Here we see the opposite, and it’s just as effective. I like the range of roles he plays in the episode and they did the character justice. Thumbs up from me.
Musical Chairs – This scene was pretty entertaining, if not important at all. As the men of court enter, they find Tywin at the table. People begin filling seats until Cersei walks in and moves a seat directly next to her father. Tyrion sits last, but not before moving his chair as well, squeaking it as much as possible and sits at the head opposite his father. It’s fitting for the characters to try to stand out more and in a way shows just how stupid all this power jocking really is.
Dany’s Council – Walking in the streets, Dany sees men crucified. She tries to give someone water, but both Barristan and Jorah beg her to stop. The man actually whispers it’s forbidden for him to drink. To be fair, there’s not much worse that can happen at this point. This becomes a defining moment for Dany, who hates slavery. I mean, outside of slavers, shouldn’t everyone hate slavery? We know Jorah is still all about them.
Her two council men debate on what makes the best army. Jorah believes the unsullied will be the perfect army because they will not rape or kill innocents unless ordered. Barristan believes that loyalty and love makes a good army. Dany’s father had an army full of brave men willing to die for him because they loved him. Barristan talks about what a great man he was. Jorah counters with the quote we highlighted earlier. He’s got a point. But Jorah’s also low key an asshole, so there’s that. It is an interesting contrast.
Dany returns to the dickhole slaver saying she wants to buy the entire army. She confirms she wants all 8,000 and any in training. The head slaver insults her by calling her a slut repeatedly in a foreign language. Dany offers a dragon to pay for everything.
Jorah and Selmy do not want her to do this, but Dany has made up her made. She also asks for the transaction to include the translator, much to the delight of the male fanbase. After the conversation, Dany tells both Jorah and Selmy if they ever question her in public again, they can find new work. Maybe don’t mouth off to your boss, guys.
Dany also talks to the translator, Missandel, trying to get as much information as possible. She asks about the unsullied, and Missandel confirms they will listen without question. When Dany tells Missandel she will be taken to war and could die, she responds with all men must die. I like that even a newly acquired translator has a place in Dany’s count. Maybe it’s not ideal, but it still works.
Jaime’s Good Deed – As Jaime and Brienne are taking to Harrenhall, Brienne notes that she spent her whole life hearing how great of fighter Jaime is. Jaime tries to defend himself, but Brienne says it was likely all just hype. I agree. Brienne says exactly what we’ve all been thinking. That’s pretty great.
Jaime tries to warn Brienne that these Northern men will rape her. Brienne says she will fight back, but Jaime warns her that she will be killed for fighting back. Later, Jaime says if he was a woman, he’d make them kill him(or her, I guess in this case) first.
That night, the men, lead by Locke, come to rape Brienne on queue. Brienne tries to fight back but fails. Jaime tells Locke who Brienne is but it has no effect. He makes up a story that all Sapphires are all mined from Tarth. Jaime says that the lord of Tarth would pay Brienne’s weight in Sapphires if she is still a virgin. This ends the rape attempts and keeps her safe. Jaime didn’t have to do this, and probably blames Brienne for his capture, yet his good side is showing. Then again, preventing a rape doesn’t make you a hero. It makes you better than a rapist. That’s not really super high on the list.
Podrick Payne indeed – Tyrion decides to reward Pod for saving his life with a fully purchased group of whores. It’s a very funny scene, if not degrading. I’m not going to defend the scene, it’s sexist for sure, but it’s pretty funny. If that makes me a bad person so sue me. Also let me delete my internet search history first.
After the romp, Pod returns very proud. Confused, he drops the gold that Tyrion gave him for payment. Pod said they wouldn’t take the money. It appears that the women enoyed Pod’s time so much they wouldn’t accept payment. Bronn and Tyrion give Pod some wine and demand details. We’ll never get answers to this, and maybe it’s for the best, but boy would that be an educational scene.
Jaime’s Disarmed – It seems like Jaime was getting through to Locke’s greed, citing that he’ll make a fortune for delivering Jaime back. Gold, titles and land is a hard offer to pass up. Locke agreed to let Jaime sleep on the ground instead of against a tree and offers him food. Looks like Jaime sweet talked his way out of trouble.
But then, the twist. Locke kicks the still bound Jaime and taunts him for thinking his father can save him every time. He nearly takes out Jaime’s eye, but doesn’t. After cursing Jaime as a nothing without his daddy, the scene looks over.
While this is different from the books – Locke’s not even a character, the intensity of the scene is great. Even knowing what will happen, there’s several quick turns in a minute. That’s TV done right in my opinion. I want to see more things like this from the show. And a lot less Bran.
What Doesn’t
Edmure’s Intro – As excellent as the Blackfish’s intro was, Edmure’s first appearance is the yang to the ying. I assume yang means shit.
The episode opens with Edmure being chosen to light his Uncle’s casket on fire. He failes, repeatedly, missing his arrows by multiple feet. He gets mocked by Robb via giggling to himself and the Blackfish totally upstaging him seconds later. Not a great sign for his future prospects.
Tyrion Gets Bad Work -After the riveting Game of Chairs, Tywin discusses finances. Tyrion notes that with Littlefinger off to woo Lysa, there will be no one to manage finances for Joffrey’s wedding. As if on queue, Tywin names Tyrion master of coin, which seems to be a dead end. Even if it sounds like an honor. Tywin is sticking it to Tyrion, saying it’s suited for his talents. It seems like a hopeless job and Tywin wants his son to fail That’s parenting gone wrong.
Later, Littlefinger gives advise to Tyrion on how to be the master of coin – lie about the numbers and make them show what the king wants. It makes sense and shows how Littlefinger stayed in power but probably not ideal for the kingdom. According to the books, the crowd is in deep debt to Tywin, naturally, but more significantly, the Iron Bank of Bravos. This is a problem because failure to pay the bank back will lead to Bravos funding their enemies. Enemies, as we’ve learned in earlier episodes, are not ideal.
Hot Pie’s Goodbye – Hot Pie is going to stay at the inn and make bread. He gives Arya a wolf loaf of bread to remember him by. Gendry and Hot Pie have a very awkward goodbye and then Arya and Gendry leave with the Brotherhood.
I mean, great? The show tried to turn this into an emotional moment. Let’s review Hot Pie’s history. First, he’s an asshole. Then, he just kind of tags along with better characters. After a few food references, he’s gone. That’s it. Why even include him in the series unless there’s a huge payoff.
Craster’s Existence – The Night Watch looks awful as they march back from the North.They can barely march. So the men decide to visit Gentleman Craster for some life sustaining food and warmth. Craster taunts the group when they ask for shelter. There’s a long stare down, but ultimately he lets them in.
Craster gets increasing aggressive as the chat with the night watch goes on, going as far to call himself a godly man. I mean, your banging your own daughters. Dude. Even Jeor has trouble letting that slide. He is annoyed at a woman screaming during childbith, complementing a pig birthing 8 children with less noise. Craster also mocks Sam for being fat with no provocation.
Seriously, are mirrors frowned upon in Westeros? Somebody look this up.
Speaking of trouble, Sam goes toward the sounds of screams, and sees it’s Gilly giving birth. It appears she has a boy. That’s probably not good news for anyone. It might also mean more Craster. Yuck.
Theon’s Filler Arc – At night, Theon’s “Savior” arrives. He frees Theon from his chains and gives him water. Theon is too weak to walk but says he can ride. He gets instructions where to go. Theon promises to make his Savior a lord in the Iron Islands for his help.
Theon is riding out in a hilly region, with no one around. Then, a search party seems to come after him. Theon tries to duck out, but it’s not going well. After a lenghty action scene, Theon is hit in the chest with a morning star – not the ideal way to get caught. He looks like the wind is knocked out of him. Then he gets kicked a whole bunch of times. One of the men threatens to rape him, which is really going far, but is killed by arrows from all sides. This got grim as shit. And who was the hero, but this charming savior who slaughters every one easily. Hmm. Not exactly heroic. He helps Theon up, calls him a lord and says winter is coming. Also alarming that it’s a northern phrase he uses.
I think my biggest issue is once you know these characters, this scene, never taken from the books, loses all its luster. There’s plenty of scenes where I know what happens but I’m engrossed. Here I’m checked out completely. It’s a waste of time. Next episodes filler is so much better than this. I mean, I’ll pass on rape if I can help it.
Melisandra is super vague – Melisandra is about to leave, but doesn’t give Stannis any info. Stannis believes she is abandoning him, but she assures she’s not. Of course she doesn’t give any more info. I mean, if you believe this guy is the savior, maybe tell him something.
Stannis says he hates that he is being laughed at, and wants his enemies dead. He also wants a son from Melisandra. Like right now. Dude picked the worst time to get horny, I swear. Meli says it’s impossible, because the King doesn’t have strength. That’ll deflate the, err, ego. Melisandra says the way to do so is through sacrifices of those with fire running in their veins.
So, without any clarity, it seems like Melli’s plan is to burn people to death. You know what, keep it vague lady. It’s safer that way.
Death – Cat’s Father, 4 Bolton men, Jaime’s hand.
Boobs – 3
Needlessly Graphic Sex – None. If they had shown Pod, it wouldn’t have been needlessly graphic either. It would have been right.
