GOT Review: Episode 13 – What is Dead May Never Die

You won’t see too many positive reviews on Brienne scenes but here we see how strong she is by having her dominate a knight who’s extremely capable. You want to build interest in a character? This is a good example how.

Just don’t expect anything else out of her for the series. 

Renly vs Caitlyn shadeWhile the meeting between Renly and Cat start cordial enough, they quickly get into a war of words. After both Renly and Margarey are respectful about Ned’s death and promise justice, they question why she doesn’t bow to the king. Then, and probably with a fair point, they ask why Robb didn’t come himself. It’s definitely an insult to question why a so called king is sending his mother. Just be easy Renly, you don’t want to insulting my boy Robb.

Margarey you can keep doing basically whatever you want and I’ll be ok with it.

Cat has her own insults, stating that Robb is too busy winning a war to come watch knights pretend to fight. I’m very critical of Cat, but this is the better argument. Robb is too important being a goddamn boss to be here. Cat goes as far to say Renly’s soldiers are too happy to be ready for a battle, and that causes the king to halt any talks and leave Cat with Brienne, who already is getting boring. You have to give Cat the win here as Renly caught feelings.

Tyrion’s Strategy – In a pretty creatiely cut scene, Tyrion shares a secret with memebers of the council, skewing the information a bit when speaking to Pycelle, Varys, and Littlefinger. The main secret is who to marry off Myrcella too. Each proposal tells a reasonable story to try to gain allies to the throne but chances who will be the husband. 

He’s trying to figure out who is a spy for the queen and who’s not. Whoever isn’t still can’t be trusted, but at least they aren’t blabbing to Cersei. Littlefinger seems to be the only one who really question the proposal but he eventually gives in too. I won’t lie, this was a power move. There’s a bunch of ways to weed out snitches, but this involves significantly less bloodshed. 

Later, Cersei is furious that Tyrion is going to ship her daughter off to Dorne. Tyrion’s trap has worked, and to no surprise, it’s Pycelle who is the spy. I mean, Varys and Littlefinger definitely understand the game. Pycelle doesn’t understand what day of the week it is. Tyrion tries to convince Cersei of Myrcella’s safety if she moves to Dorne but Cersei flips out and kicks him out out of the room. Ironically, this started as a test but becomes Myrcella’s future. 

Littlefinger is furious when he realizes that he’s been duped by Tyrion. However, to calm him, he does try to offer Littlefinger the opportunity to see Cat again in an attempt to release Jaime from captivity.

Later, Bronn breaks up Pycelle with a whore (not Ros). Pycelle pleades innocence, but we know that’s not true. Also, Shagga makes an appearance here, probably to feed certain parts to goats. Tyrion outright questions how many hands that Pycelle has betrayed. Pycelle admits that he was involved in Jon Arryn’s death, which is a pretty big confession. He is sent to a dungeon. Tyrion gives the whore two gold coins for her troubles.  What a gentleman.

Varys is the one who set up Shea with Sansa. So it would seem these two have a good working relationship now. I think Tyrion gained some knowledge on where he stands with each member of the court. 

Margarey’s Political Chops – First, and this is kind of off topic but Margarey always has a half smirk on her face. It’s not really part of her acting and an actual physical trait of the actress, but it adds to her character. It makes her look both courteous, polite and scheming all at the same time. It’s tough to read Margarey. Plus, it looks pretty flirtatious if you’re into that sort of thing.

What? I’m not saying I’m into it. It’s an observation. I’m not in trial here. Can we stay on topic and stop talking about Margarey being hot? Jeez, you people are perverts.

Anyway, Renly’s got a problem. People are beginning to question why he hasn’t bedded Margarey. The questions are probably very uncomfortable and coming mostly from Sam. Theirs no question in the series that Loras and Renly gay, with the former going so far as to refuse any sex to Renly for adding Brienne to the kingsguard (he get embarrassed) and for facing all the questions. 

Later, Margarey comes in to stop all these bedding questions. Renly immediately starts giving excuses. He throws everything he can think of while Margarey strips in front of him. Then Margarey drops a bomb about getting Loras to help if she doesn’t do it for him. Renly is taking aback, but Margarey doesn’t care how they get this done. She even offers both him and Loras at the same time. I mean that’s super gross, but it seems like it’s the norm of the season. Game of Incest would have been a decent title for this story.

Margarey is a politician who knows exactly how to get what she wants. She knows if she is pregnant with the heir to the throne, she’ll have security as queen and all the power she can handle. Show Margarey is a schemer, and one of the most dangerous politicians in Westeros. It’s just hidden behind a smirk most of the times.

Also she got naked for the audience. She’s pleasing everyone. Now that’s politics. 

Yoren and Arya – Characters moments like this are rare in Game of Thrones and when they happen, it usually is a sign of horrible death. Today’s episode is no different but I like this bonding moment a lot, despite being crazy dark.

Arya has trouble sleeping, reliving her father’s death. Yoren says that booze usually gets him to sleep, but gives a personal story about how he joined the watch, when he saw his brother murdered. He says he can’t remember his brother’s face, but remembers the killer in vivid detail.  When given the opportunity to see the murderer again. Yoren says he buried an axe so far in his head they had to bury him with it. He joined the watch afterwards, probably to avoid jail/execution.

Also, Yoren says he said the murderer’s name every night before he went to bed. Hmm, wonder if anyone remembers that. That’s right, one of Arya’s defining traits came from this drunken man. I thought it was a nice touch and forgot about it.

We don’t get to dwell on this for long, but it was nice while it lasted.

What Didn’t –

Jeor’s Explanation of Craster – After Jon’s spying on Craster, all the Night’s Watches men are kicked out. Jeor speaks to Craster, though we don’t hear what was said. I bet the word asshole was said a minimum of 17 times. 

Jeor speaks to Jon, and reveals he knows that the baby boys are being sacrificed. Jeor knows that this isn’t right, but states the need to pick their battles. Craster is important for the Night’s Watch, no matter how much of a dick he may be. Jeor understands where Jon’s coming from, but can’t back down from it.

I don’t like this much because Jeor is no joke. He’s a born leader. I know his men need supplies when going out on a mission beyond the wall, but to look the other way on babies? Come on Jeor. Your Jorah is showing.

Maester Luwin’s off Base Predictions – Poor Hodor is taxed with the job of waking up Bran. Talk about bad jobs. Was Shit cleaner already taken? Someday, I wish Hodor snapped and did what he wanted for a change. 

Suddenly, I’m overcome with a huge amount of sadness.

Bran explains to Maester Luwin that in his dreams he’s always walking or running, but he’s not himself. He’s Summer, his dire wolf whose saved his life two times already. Bran asks about Wargs. Maester Luwin shoots it down saying they are only dreams and there’s no more wargs left in the world. Luwin says that Bran’s dreams are not special. He explains that he studied mystical powers at the Citidal and got nothing out of it, like everyone else. He does admit magic may have been a force in the world, but not anymore, even saying the dragons are dead and the children of the forest are forgotten.

Did he get anything right? Other than Bran’s dreams not being special because he’s boring. I mean, for a man who’s supposed to be a learned one, he’s sure stupid. Don’t worry about those dreams on drowning in winter fell either. It’s probably fine.

Balon’s Master Plan – This scene starts when Yara asks if Thoen is angry for letting him touch her bits and not tell her who she was. She claims she wanted to see the man Theon is, and laughs at him. Yeah Yara, the joke is definitely on Theon here. 

Balon’s plan is to attack the North and take strongholds while Robb is busy fighting a war. Basically, he’s a piece of shit who attacks defenseless areas without anyone to protect themselves. Yara is given 30 ships and commanded to take a fortress, while Theon is given one ship and told to attack fishermen. What the hell does this accomplish? For stealing some cod? Balon loves him some fish and chips.

Theon again tries to pitch staying loyal to Robb, but Balon hears nothing of it. He thinks Theon is weak. Theon calls him out saying he was given to the Starks and didn’t choose to go, which leads to him getting slapped and Balon storming out. Yara also calls out Theon for having a second family.

So I mean, basically they will try to piss off the North and eventually get wiped out. Great move. Also, all of Yara and Balon’s bitching nearly leads to Theon writing to Robb about their plans. Balon is  the worst fake king since Scar.

Sansa’s Treatment of Shea – Shea is getting cabin fever staying in his room all day. Tyrion is trying to find a role for her, but is struggling with all the kingdom’s eyes on his every move. Shea doesn’t really understand and feels slighted.

A very awkward dinner occurs between Sansa and Cersei. Myrcella speaks about Joffrey’s wedding. Sansa has to respond in very calculated responses. Then, when Tommen asks if Robb will be killed by Joffrey, Cersei presses the needle to her, telling even if Robb dies, Sansa will do her duty.

Both of these women need somebody to talk to. There’s not a lot of people they can trust and they are like fish out of water. So when Varys sets up Shea to be Sansa’s handmaiden, it makes sense. This should be a good pairing to help both of these women out.

Instead, Sansa is a total bitch to Shea, snapping at her immediately and telling her she shouldn’t have to teach her how to do her job. Shea, who has no idea what she’s doing, screws up about five times before Sansa lets her brush her hair. Look, I get the stress Sansa is under, and she’s grieving for her father, but she didn’t have to lash out at Shea for asking a few questions about friggign waiting on Sansa’s every need. I know King’s Landing sucks, but at least she has handmaidens instead of not having any. She could be at the wall or in the Mountain’s path. She could even be trapped in Winterfell with Bran being used like a horse.

Concept of a Drowned God – Theon goes all in on being an iron islander and is more or less baptized, which involves nearly being drowned to death. I have a serious issue with this, and not because Theon almost drowned. That would be a huge plus and likely the story lead.

I mean, we’re going to worship the Drowned God? Really? That God obviously died. Not the God I’d want to follow. Why would you want to follow somebody who can’t even figure out swimming. Truly a god suited for Greyjoy’s. Serves them right. 

Out of all the gods people worship in this show, and boy is there a lot of them, the drowned god never does anything. Even the 7 have a whole movement in King’s Landing. All the drowned god religion does is try to kill its followers. Theirs a religion that revived the dead and people willingly pick this. Horrific.

Lannister Douchebag Guards – After the somewhat nice scene between Arya and Yoren, Lannister men come to attack the crew, including Amory Lorch – noted scumbag in the books. They shoot Yoren when he refuses to give up Gendry or Arya, and Yoren fights a tough battle on his own. The wave is too much for Yoren, who dies. Lorch stabs him after all the fighting is done like a true piece of shit. Death is too good for him. 

A scrimmage breaks out between the Lannister man and the Night Watch recruits. Other than Gendry getting in a few good shots, it’s one sided. That tends to happen when knights fight children. Except the “knights” in Harry Potter. Adult wizards lost to kids like all the time in that series. Why study for decades when you’re just going to lose to Harry Potter pulling a win out of his ass? That was his real magic spell – bull shit plot armor.

Arya is confroted by a man who steals Needle. As all the survivors are rounded up to be taken to Harrenhall. The Blonde Boy, who I pegged for death yesterday, is wounded and this same man brutally stabs him after pretending to offer him mercy. Somehow, this works in Gendry and Arya’s favor. Lorch says they are looking for Gendry and will torture people until they get the answer. Arya is quick witted and says the blonde kid was gendry. Disaster averted… sort of.

I mean, with all these dick bags being Lannister men, how has none of the powerful families risen up and wrecked their shit? These guys are the lowest of the low.