Episode 29 – The Rains of Castamere
January 24, 2019
Oh Boy
Summary – Robb and Cat go to a wedding and… you know what? I’m too depressed for a summary. Let’s get on to the quote instead.
Grey Worm gets last word – Dany holds her own council, now with Daario on board. The new recruit knows of a back gate to Yunkai and believes he can get the army through the front gate. Jorah and Barristan do not trust Daario at all. The group turns to Grey Worm for his opinion, who says he trusts him. I like that Grey Worm, literally a nameless soldier 5 episodes ago is now one of the key contributors to Dany.
Barristan tells Jorah he wants to go, but Jorah shoots him down saying the he needs to remind behind to protect Dany. You’d think Jorah would want that job so he can be a big frigging creep like normal. One of the more shocking twists of the episode
Barristan is the best living knight in the kingdom, but he takes a back seat to Grey Worm. No disrespect to Barristan, but it’s cool to see the rags to riches turn around, so to speak.
Arya vs the Hound – Arya and the Hound stop to talk to a local man carrying some meat. The Hound pretends to help him, but then punches out the man and goes in for the kill. Arya will not allow him to kill the man, and the scene mirrors the one of Brienne and Jaime earlier this season. The Hound wants the man dead so he doesn’t talk about who he’s seen. Arya taunts the Hound saying he’s no real killer, referencing, but not outright saying, Jaqen. The Hound mockingly asks if the man he punches was him, and when told no, he says good. Arya continues to protest, and the Hound agrees, but says Arya’s kindness will get her killed. Arya ends up re- knocking out the man, shocking the Hound. I don’t think many people will note Aryas kindness later on in this series.
Later, the Hound is eating some of the stolen profit as Arya looks on to where the wedding is. The Hound tells her not to worry as the wedding isn’t going anywhere. Or is it?
I suppose it’s not, no.
Arya holds a stern face, but the Hound knows she’s afraid. Arya counters by saying she knows the Hound is afraid of fire. She says she knows the story of how he was scared. The Hound asks if it gives her some ideas, which she says maybe.
The Hound counters by saying she can try and go to the wedding herself, and references her dad’s beheading as the closest she’s been to family. Arya promises to put a sword through his eye someday.
This relationship is always uneasy, but it’ll get better, if only by necessity. I love their interactions, and Arya is one of the few people not afraid of the Hound.
Jon chooses a side – The A-Team approaches a lone man with 8 horses. He breeds them for the Night’s Watch, which is convenient for the scene. Again, another debate on killing a bystander occurs. It’s like it’s the theme of the season. Jon wants to spare the man, which Orell thinks shows he’s still part of the Watch. Great point – not murdering innocents must mean he’s a traitor. Now, granted Orell was right, but still.
Jon worries there will be additional Watchmen sent to attack. Tormund says he hopes so, looking for a fight. All the Wildings begin to run toward the man, who tries to flee on horseback. Ygritte tries to shoot him, but misses, partially due to Jon’s distraction. No, he didn’t fling his penis out like a helicopter, but that would have been a good tactic.
The chase is on. The group searches for the horse breeder near a tower where Bran and friends reside. Orell says he heard voices in the tower, but Tormund doesn’t really care. He probably should have. The men surround the horse breeder. There is another damn debate on whether they should kill him or die. For Christ sake, do the Frey’s debate this shit? No. They killed their liege lord, his queen, and his mother and stopped whining about it.
Wait…
Tormund volunteers to kill the man. Orell stops and says that Jon should kill him as proof. Jon hesitates, and Ygritte steps in and kills him. Orell says he’s a crow, and that he’ll stab him in the back first chance he gets. This leads to a brawl where Ygritte tries to stop them from killing Jon, but Tormund tackles her asking her not to die for a crow.
During the battle, Summer comes to assist Jon, as Bran warged into him. Jon does well on his own, killing Orell and taunting him, saying he was right the whole time. Orell wargs at death into an eagle who attacks Jon, but Jon kills that too. Thank god that guy is dead. He jumps on his horse and rides away, leaving a pissed Tormund, and a heartbroken Ygritte behind. We knew at some point Jon would return to the Night’s Watch, but how it’s done – bloody and with emotions attached, makes it extremely hard to watch, but in the good way. There’s plenty hard to watch in the bad way coming.
Motherly advice – The episode begins showing all the pieces on his chess board. Robb’s plan of taking Castely Rock is to show the realm that Tywin is not invincible. He’s telling his mother because the last decision he made on his own was letting Theon go free (Not true. Karstark’s execution was all Robb. We can argue if it was smart though). Personally, I wouldn’t let his mother near a war discussion under any circumstance. Cat asks if they have enough men, and Robb needs Walder Frey’s cooperation to have a shot at rebounding in the war. If they don’t take the castle quickly, they will die. Cat advises to show the Lannisters how it feels to lose what they love. The army marches to the Freys. Taps beginning playing in the background for some reason.
Breaking tradition: At the Frey’s, the group is offered bread and salt – the traditional food that promises guests safety under the walls. Robb begs for forgiveness, but Frey says he didn’t ask for forgiveness, and instead he must ask forgiveness from his daughters. As they line up, Edmure looks on, worried about who he’ll be marrying. Be lucky the Blackfish isn’t slapping the taste out of your mouth instead.
Frey takes some shots at Robb as he introduces each lady. He’s not a very kind man. Robb apologizes saying that he didn’t mean to slight them, and he married out of love. Afterwards, Frey claps sarcastically. He then wants to see Talisa. All eyes focus on her as she moves in closer to Frey. Frey says that Robb only married Talisa due to her looks, making perverted comments as he “examines” her. Frey says he can tell whats going on beneath any dress. That’s not freaking creepy at all. He ends his ogling saying he broke his oath for a nice pair of tits and a tight-fitting dress. He also approves of Robb’s action. Frey says it’s time to put the mess behind them. Even without knowing, the whole scene is uncomfortable on a variety of levels. But when they are given safe passage and made a fool of before being betrayed? Brutal.
Somebody call Chris Hansen: When the Wedding begins, Walder Frey walks the bride down the aisle. What a gentleman. The veil is pulled, the girl looks to be about 11 years old. However, Lord Edmure, the failure that he is, is only looking that’s she’s not ugly. Good job Edmure, be a pedo. This is also our third Chris Hansen reference of the season. I feel like I owe royalties.
This wedding goes a bit smoother, without any mishaps or mocking. It’s a weird ceremony, but nice enough… for a time.
Reasonable odds – At the breach, Daario tells Jorah and Greyworm that he will whistle when to follow, or when there was trouble. Honestly, his directions were unclear. After Daario gets in, the two and a small group of Unsullied follow. There is a huge battle which serves more like a 300 battle than anything as the named characters don’t have any fear of death. It’s kind of pathetic how much they dominate in this battle in a series famous for having some realism. I mean, some it putting it loosely, but still. I just hate these types of battles. A second group of fighters comes to challenge the group, and I can’t help but think of a Steven Segal movie.
Dany is at camp awaiting the group, which has taken a while. The men return, saying that the slave warriors threw down their spears and surrendered. Why wasn’t that on-screen after the first wave? That would have sat significantly better with me.
Bran Enters a man’s body – The B-Squad comes across an abandoned Night’s Watch Castle, which Bran and Rickon state is abandoned due to Wildings. Meera says it’ll be a good place to make shelter. Abandoned buildings are so in vogue these days. Also of note is a storm is brewing, and thunder scares Hodor like crazy.
The group sees a rider on horseback who is surrounded by Wildings. Hodor continues to yell whenever he hears the Thunder, which is a problem as Orell hears him. Bran stops this by Warging into him, making Hodor pass out. It’s only for a second, but I believe that’s invasion of privacy. Meera looks at Bran in horror. This is a taboo move – warging into another man. I mean, Bran could trick us into thinking he’s a likeable character.
Jojen questions what Bran did and says warging into a wolf is nothing compared to a person. Jojen talks about Warging a bit, and how it’s common north of the wall, but they never do so into a person. Really makes Bran look shitty. I approve.
Bran says he saw Jon with the wildings and ran, bringing our attention to a much better plot line. Bran knows he can’t go to Castle Black, and needs to go to find the Three Eyes Raven. So much for the better storyline. Bran decides that Rickon can’t go with them any further, and wants Osha to go the Umbers (keep that in mind). Rickon doesn’t want to leave, and it’s cute that act like the audience cares about Rickon. It’s adorable. Osha and Rickon are going to be a great team all right. Osha and Rickon leave after their goodbyes. I can’t even pretend to care.
Maybe Bran can warg into Ned Stark so we can get Sean Bean back on the show.
The Red Wedding
I didn’t know how to review this scene, nor where to put it, so I’m going to give it its own section, and separate the action at the wedding and just outside it. I don’t see how I could maybe this a “good scene” but it’s probably the most shocking scene in the series. I’d argue something is more shocking, but we’ll tackle that in season 4.
Robb and Cat – At the reception, everyone seems to be laughing, for now. Cat and the Blackfish discuss that Edmure is happy about his bride because she’s pretty. And I mean, she’s 12 but whatever. She’ll probably think it’s cool to date an older guy and brag about it to her friends during recess.
Bolton refuses wine. He’s questioned by Cat and Blackfish about this and says it dulls the senses. Isnt that the biggest warning sign? Who passes on booze at a wedding, other than necessarily sober people? Roose frigging skins people alive you don’t think he needs some rosè to calm his nerves?
Roose discusses that he married a Frey girl himself and received her weight in silver for the marriage. He picked the fattest Frey daughter there was. The Blackfish laughs and goes to take a piss. This is important for two reasons, but mostly that it’s the first time Roose Bolton ever made anybody laugh. Also it lets thebBlackfish escape, but whatever.
Robb notices that Cat is alone with Roose and wants to save her. Talisa says that if his mother had it his way, she would be back in Volantis. Robb goes to kiss her after some flirting, but Talisa stops it, and says it would insult Walder. Let’s care about preserving that piece of shit’s feelings.
Frey halts the proceedings saying the wedding is over and the bedding ceremony is about to begin. He makes more crude sex lines and the crowd cheers to this. Robb agrees to it and the two go off. Chanting for other people to have sex is not for me by the way. Talisa is clearly taken aback by this tradition, and wants no part of it. She won’t have to worry about it herself. Robb explains it’s a custom, but Talisa says that theirs other ways to provide proof. Talisa says if they have a boy, she wants to name the child Ned. God my heart hearts.
Then, it begins. One of the Frey men locks the front door and the Rains of Castamere play. This isn’t right and Cat knows something is up. Grey Wolf is shown locked in a little cage as a bunch of men on the outside seem to be unaware. He wants to break free but he can’t.
Back at the wedding, Walder Frey stops the music and summons Robb. He says he hasn’t given his king a wedding gift. Cat lifts Bolton’s sleeve for some reason, and sees he’s wearing armor. She slaps him, and he runs. Why the hell would she lift Bolton’s sleeve anyway? This is so out of place.
Cat tries to warn Robb, but it’s over. Several Frey’s immediately stabs Talisa in the stomach multiple times. This is one of the toughest scenes in the series to watch. Robb is hit with a flurry of arrows. Cat is also hit with one. Frey looks on laughing and drinking to the slaughter. I forgot how brutal this scene was, but Talisa bleeding out it’s horrific.
Cat is trying to crawl, clearly dying. Robb sees Talisa stabbed to death on the ground, and Walder Frey stops the violence to mock Robb for standing over Talisa
Cat takes Frey’s wife, holding a blade to her neck and asks for the violence will end. She says if Robb is freed, she will never take revenge. Frey says he can never trust the Starks again. Robb can’t move, paralyzed by the site of Talisa. Another Romeo and Juliet moment for the two. Cat says to let Robb go or she’ll kill Walder’s wife. Walder doesn’t even care, saying he’ll find another. Robb’s last word is “mother” before Roose re-enters, stabbing Robb and saying the above quote “The Lannisters send their regards”. Literally his coward ass left, and re-enters the scene like a stage direction. Cat kills Frey’s wife almost out of reaction, and the episode ends with Cat dying right after.
If you don’t see this coming, it’s jaw dropping for this to happen. I suppose you could have expected something to go down, but to kill Robb in cold blood like this is brutal. I think the show adds a few other cruel elements in Talisa, Robb’s last word being “mother” and killing off Cat. It’s awful.
Also, Ned managed to die a second time due to honor…Too soon?
Arya and the Hound – The Hound and Arya arrive to try and drop off their pork, but the guard says the wedding is over. The Hound turns and sees Arya is gone.
Arya sneaks into the camp and sees a Stark table. Before she can greet them, she also sees them killed by Freys. Grey Wolf is trying to burst out of the cage knowing things are wrong. She then watches the cowards Freys kill Grey worm with cross bows. God damnit, even Grey Wolf? The Hound catches up with Arya who is trying to gain some revenge, but The Hound knocks her out knowing it’s too late. This is an act of mercy since Arya would have died without this protection.
Boobs – 0
Death – Robb Stark, Catelyn Stark, Talisa, Grey Wolf, nearly every Stark man, Walder Frey’s Wife,Orell, the Horse breeder, about 5-6 Wildings, Countless Yunkai slave soliders, a few unsullied.
Jesus Christ that’s a lot of death.
Sex – 0
