The New York Mets – A Lesson Of Futility Or Bobby Bonilla Really Needs His Check

Last week, Barstool Sports, the definitive sports media outlet in America, released a post about the Mets misery. Written by notoriously angry Mets/Jets/Knicks fan KFC, it pointed out 60 of the worst moments in team history. You can read it here if you haven’t. I highly recommend it. It was eye opening. 

No, it wasn’t the length of the list that raised my eyebrows, but because there were so many moments I had forgotten and/or suppressed. Truly, the Mets are a unique organization. By unique, I mean disgraceful piece of shit “professional” team that shouldn’t field a team, let alone have fans. Yet every year, complete suckers buy merchandise, watch games, go to Citi Field, and worst of all, have hope for the season. Nobody is a bigger sucker than Bloggin Hood, who, for a brief moment thought they would make the playoffs last season. Maybe I should have been on KFC’s list.

The list was so aggravating, it brought Bloggin Hood back out of retirement today, of all days. You see, today is the day that Bobby Bonilla is paid his $1,000,000 from the Mets as part of a contract settlement. Dubbed Bobby Bonilla Day by the dumber members of society like the personalities on ESPN, mock the Mets for paying a former athlete. Now, every single organization has a contract settlement like this; some are significantly worse then Bonilla’s. However, that wouldn’t serve the narrative that the Mets are a complete joke of a franchise.

Unfortunately, the Mets are a complete joke of a franchise, more evident this season than any other. Any time Mickey Callaway speaks, an angel actually loses his wings and immediately descends into Hell. Hell is exceptional crowded this year. The team just finished an impressive streak of blowing multi run leads in 5 consecutive games. They have 21 blown saves on the year, and we’re just reaching July. Every acquisition the team made in the offseason has failed, with half the team being hurt yet again. Despite all of this, it’ll be another middling season for the franchise. They can’t even tank right and will somehow win 70 games, in spite of themselves.

This is an organization who, just the past weekend, celebrated their 1969 World Series anniversary by incorrectly announcing two of team’s players as dead when they were very alive. How does a franchise get that wrong? Did they not bother to fact check? Did they even care? Yet this incident, shameful as it was, was unable to qualify for the list! Now, that’s mostly because I already had 7,000 words and needed to draw a line somewhere, but still. There’s plenty of embarrassing content that’ll make you forget about the team pronouncing a few living people as dead. I mean, wouldn’t you rather be dead than a Mets fan like me? Think about it. It’s definitely a toss up.

At least the Yankees are doing very well despite all their injuries. It is not aggravating or frustrating even a little bit. Hopefully Derek Jeter can help the team out that pays his salary and ship the Yankees some starting pitching in exchange for a New Era Cap and Three slightly used Gatorade paper cups.

On this horrific day for Mets fans, I decided to make things a little worse. Today, I’ve written about some of my favorite Mets failures. And by favorite, I mean the events that cause me to lose sleep at night. I’ve ranked them in three levels of misery. Join me in a review of pain and suffering. 

Level 1 – Unacceptably Embarrassing But Not For Us

Nimmo’s cooking – This one was probably overblown, but it’s worth noting. Popular Mets player Brandon Nimmo had a breakout 2018 season and was looking to establish himself as a good major league player. Then in Spring Training, he was forced to sit out a week due to an illness. Reports were he ate undercooked chicken that he prepared. How does this happen in 2019? 

It’s not that cooking isn’t that difficult. I mean, you can cut the chicken piece in half to confirm it was cooked. This isn’t hard. Also, Nimmo isn’t a working shill like you or I. He’s a professional athlete. He could have somebody cook his food. He could have went to the team and ate in the clubhouse. Nope, let’s eat undercooked chicken instead. 

Met fans tried to come to Nimmo’s aid and mailed hundreds of meat thermometers. This was nice in an odd way. Of course then the Mets brass said Nimmo never cooked the chicken and the illness was unrelated. Let’s remove any kindness from the fan base when we can. 

Also, Nimmo is having a brutal season. His stats are horrific and he hasn’t played in two months due to an injury. I think most fans have already forgotten him for McNeil and Alonso. He lost his fan favorite status, all because of a cursed chicken dinner. 

Where’s Wade Boggs when you need him?*

Keith Hernandez discussing his career on air. – Personally, I think this is the charm of watching Mets games. Well, either that or seeing Conforto’s swing. Now that’s content that should be rating MA for excessive violence against baseball’s. I considered a sex joke but passed. Get your minds out of the gutter. 

Keith Hernandez has never been shy about talking about the following three topics:

1). Keith’s career. 

2). Keith’s Seinfeld’s appearance 

3). How much better he is than everyone else defensively. 

And that’s really it. Otherwise, he’ll go innings without talking, typically eating large quantities of food or Tootsie Roll pops. He will somehow bring himself up in conversations that shouldn’t involve him. On rare occasions, he’ll actively root against the Mets, especially during extra inning games where he clearly has dinner reservations. In 2015, before Cespedes joined the team, Keith actively sighed at At Bats 100s of Times. 

Despite this, the Mets broadcast is the best commentating team of all time. Don’t even @ me. 

Lastings Milledge – One of the forgotten names in Mets history, Milledge was supposed to be the savoir. The hype was off the charts. Honestly, I don’t remember a Mets prospect getting the push he did. Part of the reason is most Mets prospects fizzle before making the majors. Milledge cracked the majors in 2006, you know, the good Mets season, where it was going to be tough for him to contribute much. Don ‘t worry, he didn’t. for all the hype he had, Milledge only had 391 Plate appearances and was off the team by 2008. That’s it for your top prospect for years? Really? Milledge only managed 1500 at bats in the majors, playing for 6 teams and was at best a league average player.

This is my fear about Amed Rosario right now. He’s done absolutely nothing but at least the Mets let him play. Milledge had a bunch of issues and wasn’t worth the trouble. Thank god we hyped him. 

Ike Davis’ Valley Fever – Before he tried to revive his career as a reliever (no really, that happened), Davis was an up and coming power hitter for the Mets. After an impressive debut season, Davis started off the 2011 season as a complete hitter, slashing .302/.383/.543 with 7 homers in the first 36 games. The Mets were on their way to having a superstar

Then they remembered they are the Mets. 

On a routine infield fly, Davos went down with an injury. The diagnosis was a sprained ankle. That’s a brief DL stint and then we’d get our budding star right back in the lineup. But days became weeks, and weeks became months. Davis’ name stopped being mentioned on the broadcasts. It was perplexing. In July, the diagnosis changed to Valley Fever, something that has nothing to do with the ankle. Davis did not play again in 2011. 

How weren’t every single doctor forced immediately for this? Who possibly mistakes an ankle for a disease? If your doctor says you have a broken arm when you’re seeing him for allergies, I recommend running. At least that way, you’ll found out if you have a sprained ankle.

This was textbook Mets. Davis’ career was never the same. He sold out for power in 2012, hitting over 30 HRs but at the cost of any average and plate discipline. He became such a scrub offensively, he had to reinvent himself as a pitcher. That didn’t go well either. Also, he did so on the A’s, who love weird things like having a 1B/P on the roster. So does the revival really count? 

The real travesty is Davis could still be playing first, but then we’d never get to see Polar Bear Pete crush a HR in every game, only to see the bullpen blow it. This ranks low due to my confidence in Alonso. 

Wilmer Flores crying on the field – You may have heard the phrase “There’s no crying in baseball”. Well, the Mets organization proved that wrong.

In 2015, the Mets were floundering. They couldn’t score and needed to do something, wasting one of the best rotations in baseball. Sandy Alderson agreed to a trade to acquire Carlos Gomez, a speedy center fielder which did solve some needs (in theory) for Zack Wheeler and Wilmer Flores. During a game, the trade was announced while Flores was on the field. Normally, players are pulled in the situation. The Mets botched even this. Flores did not take the news well, and cried on the field. 

Now, Flores has been with the organization since he was 16. It was an emotional situation. Also, players tend to be in the clubhouse or dugout when trades are announced. We don’t know how often players cry. I’m guessing not often, but we don’t know. Poor Flores was live on stage. He was mocked across the country. Afterwards, the trade fell through. It turned out Gomez only had one hip. Flores’ tears were wasted. You’d think Gomez would have been the one crying for being assigned to the Mets for a moment. 

Now, this ended up working out. The meta acquired Cespedes who was a one man wrecking crew. Flores became a national sensation, receiving thunderous applause in support wherever he went. He also hit a game winning homer two days later in an actual heart warming moment. 

But in real time? This was a complete embarrassment. Pull the players before announcing a trade. No other team in any sport makes this mistake. None. 

Vargas and Callaway try to fight a reporter – Our most recent indecent is no less embarrassing than any other. Would this actually happen to another organization? Maybe the Knicks, but does that even mean anything? That organization is basically a cuss word.

If you’ve lived under a rock, basically Callaway and Vargas threatened a reporter, unheard of even in today’s hyper sensitive culture. Vargas was going to “ring his neck” and had to be held back. Callaway cursed and threatened him as well. Both Mets seems shocked this was in the papers the next day. I mean, it was a reporter fellas. 

Firstly, Varags is in the shape of a potato. The only ringing he’s doing involves onions. If he hadn’t been significantly better than Thor this year (that’s a real sentence by the way), I think he’d have been cut. Instead, he made his start and said the full story hasn’t been told. I believe this is true. There’s definitely more curses and arm flailing.

Callaway is an abomination, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how he has kept his job. But when the story of the Mets front office making in game decisions came out, it all clicked. Callways is a puppet, and one of the few men with the minimal self esteem required to accept this role. He serves as the figure head of the team but probably hasn’t made a decision all year. It’s even more pathetic then thinking he was just a moron. Callaway gets the axe at the end of the year, but gets to finish out the season where he should have been fired in May for getting swept by the Marlins.

Oh, and for the record, the Front office making the decisions in game is not a surprise to me. In fact, I didn’t even consider it for the list. If you don’t think Terry Collins was an Alderson puppet, you’re delusional. This has been going on for a minimum of 4 years. Honestly, with Alderson, I didn’t mind it so much. With an Agent pretending to know what’s going on… Yeah, not so good. Can mustached Bobby Valentine come back?

Tim Tebow – Look, he seems like a nice guy. And I know for him, baseball isn’t a publicity stunt. He’s really trying and he’s made some improvements. However, Tim Tebow bring a circus of crazed fanboys, haters and everything in between. He’s to the media like a light is to a moth – they just can’t look away. The Wilpons signed Tebow for the attention and back page wars, not for baseball.

Oh, and a little thing called revenue. Did you know there’s more Tebow Mets jerseys than Confortos at every Mets home game? Did you know I hate the fanbase? Because I do. Tebow merch flies off the shelves and it’s pathetic. Maybe support players who aren’t on the wrong side of 30 that never made the majors.

If the Mets are at of the running in September, and God knows they already are, Tebow will get the call for ticket sales. And you know what the worst part is? It’ll work. It’ll work out perfectly and the Wilpons will make bank.

Trading for Jay Booce/ Signing Jason Bay – These were classic Mets moves, and truthfully, I’m convinced both men were the same player. Traditional Mets history dictates that any time the team signs a veteran, he will suck. It doesn’t matter how good they were the previous year. Roberto Alomar was one of the greatest 2nd baseman of all time. The second he put on the Mets uniform, he couldn’t hit off a tee. 

When the Mets signed Jason Bay to a 4 year contract, he expected to get a 30 homer in hitter who’d fit right in the middle of the order. Instead, we got a player addicted to pop ups. I’m sure he was trying, but he should have been trying on the Newark Bears instead of the MLB. It was a nightmare. When we dumped him, I was ready to do cartwheels. This is one of the forgotten albatross’ in Mets history, but only because they repeated the error. 

Jay Bruce was a declining player who only hit in the first half. Everyone knew this. In 2017, he was leading the majors in RBIs, a stat completely determined by teammates and luck. 29 teams knew this was a fluke. The Mets couldn’t wait to add him and say all their hitting issues were solved. Bruce helped the team down the stretch by recording 1 RBI after the trade. He was the Familia of outfielders. 

Then the Mets resigned him. Jesus Christ was that scary.  The Mets were considering blocking Conforto with Booce. Did they confuse strikeouts with walks? I think it could have been that. Even reading Bruce away to Mariners solved nothing, because we had to take back Cano and Diaz. Oh, and lose a future star. All this for 1 RBI in 2 seasons. Thank god for that one. It was likely off of a groundout to the pitcher, trailing 8-2. 

Level 2 – This would be the Worst Moment in Most Franchises’ History

Daniel Murphy is the National League’s best hitter the year after the Mets let him go – In the second half of 2015, Murphy went on one of the great hot streaks I’ve seen. He began to hit for power but not sacrifice his average. In the playoffs, it seemed he crushed a home run every game. He did, unfortunately, cool off in the World Series, making a few suspect defensive plays as well. Still, he was a key free agent the Mets had to address after the season. 

Murphy wanted to stay. He made that abundantly clear. But the Mets decided to move on and told Murphy to go screw, in so many words. Murphy signed with the rival Nationals, and to say he played well in 2016 is an understatement. He slashed .347/.390/.595. His slugging percentage and OPS both led the national league. He proved his power increase was no joke, hitting 25 homeruns and a league leading 47 doubles. He was the runner up for the MVP, and in all honesty could have won it (Bryant was probably the correct choice). The next year was nearly as good, but a terrible injury derailed his career a bit, Had he signed with the Mets, he would have injured himself in the shower on the day after the signing, so I guess it worked out the way it was. However, Murphy absolutely crushes the Mets every time he plays them, still probably bitter than didn’t re-sign him. 

But don’t worry, we have Cano! 

Firing Willie Randolph on Father’s Day after a West Coast flight – This was another banner day for the Mets. Look, at the time, it was clear Willie had to go. The Mets had collapses in their veins and the team needed a shake up. The rumors flew daily, but Randolph stayed the manager. Until the team had to take a late night flight to the west coast. Then, and only then, was Randolph fired. What an absolute slap in the face.

The players at the time, namely Carlos Delgado, deserve some blame. The clubhouse did not like Randolph, and it’s obvious in hindsight they stopped trying hard. Delgado in particular seemed like a different player once Randolph was canned, hitting like his prime self. I never really forgave Delgado for that, though I still respect his ability to hit the low and down the middle pitch. He was the best all time at that.

But even worse than the players mailing it in is that Randolph got fired on father’s day. Sure, he should have never been on the flight in the first place but can’t you give him the day? I mean, if you fired him Saturday he could have been with his kids. You know, assuming he has kids. This was unforgivable.

Harvey Can’t Pee – One of the most confusing moments in Mets history, Harvey was reported sent to the hospital overnight with no other information. The speculation was rampant. The most popular theories were STDs, drugs and drug filled STDs. It wasn’t good. I think this incident sticks out as where Harvey lost his NYC star power. 

The story we were given nearly 24 hours later was that Harvey hadn’t drank enough water and couldn’t pee. He actually had a press conference where he mentioned he forgot the importance of hydration. Wow. I mean, even for the Mets this was low. 

Did anyone believe this for one moment? Of course not. We know it had to be something sketchy, beyond being a little dehydrated. The story of Harvey being this generations Doc Gooden really came to pass – An elite season and a half, and then falling off a cliff due to drugs. It’s kind of amazing when you think about it. But then again, it’s the Mets  so there’s no reason to be really surprised. 

The lesson here kids, is to never hold it in.

Mejia getting banned – Ah, I had almost forgotten this train wreck until I read the Barstool list. This only would happen to the Mets.

Jenrry Mejia not only spelled his first name really weirdly, but he was, believe it or not, an oft injuried player. For years, Mejia was considered one of their top pitching prospects but could never stay on the field. For years, I asked why not make him a reliever. It took the team 4 years to consider it. Always good when the fan base has better ideas than the team. 

In his one season as the team’s closer, Mejia was ok. He got the job done, but as tradition for the Mets closer, walked way too many guys. Still, with rising arm Jeryus Familia (he’s coming soon), Mejia as a closer make sense. You always want to have your best reliever available and save one of your other top guys as the closer. 

Trust me, Familia is getting bashed soon. 

We never saw another full season of Mejia pitching. He was suspended for PEDs twice. After wards he came back for a week, with the team expressing excitement. Somehow, he received his third strike, failing a test WHILE SUSPENDED FOR PEDs. Seriously, how frigging dumb can you be? Some fans would say it’s ridiculous to test somebody while he’s banned. But isn’t that the most obvious time to test? 

Mejia owned up to his fails. Oh wait, he denied everything and said it was a conspiracy. So that was classy. I’ve never seen teammates angrier at a player, and each was happy to throw Mejia under the bus. It was ugly. 

I’d still rather have Mejia than Familia though.    

DeGrom nearly finished under .500 in the best pitching season of the decade – When Jacon deGrom won the rookie of the year award in 2014, I thought the Mets should sell high. He had no track record of dominance, was never a high level prospect, and we needed offense. I mean, the guy originally was a short stop. 

This is a reminder that I am always an idiot and never right. Why you’re still reading this is really on you. 

Since my idiocy, deGrom has been one of two rocks on the Mets, with the other being incompetence. While all the other pitchers fell off due to injury or being an asshole, deGrom has remained excellent. Even removing his 2018, his numbers have been fantastic throughout his career. At worst, he was a top 10 pitcher. And that’s only if you hated people with shaggy hair. 

Well, I’m 2018, deGrom cut the locks and pulled a reverse Samson. He was incredible. Watching deGrom in 2018 was like watching prime Pedro. He was on another level. If he gave up a run, it was truly shocking. 

And the frigging Mets had a losing record in his starts. DeGrom almost had a losing record personally, getting no decisions in games he left with a lead and losing 1-0 and 2-1 games regularly. I would have strangled Familia personally, who lost 4 deGrom started games in April alone. By a surprisingly large margin, deGrom was the CY Young.  Thankfully the voters weren’t slaves to win loss records. Even they could see deGrom’s mastery, and voters are frigging idiots. 

Some how the Mets has the best pitching season since Pedro, and wasted it completely. They actually tried to make his season worse by blowing all his leads and not hitting. The only thing I blame deGrom for is resigning. He deserves better.  

Luis Castillo dropping a pop up – I’m trying to avoid too much about performance in this write up, but sometimes, it’s tied to the Franchise’s aura. Only one other play in Mets history rivals Castillo’s error and we’ll get there.

Castillo was a solid second baseman for the Marlins. He was a slap hitter with no power, decent speed and decent defense. When the Mets signed him, nearly all his abilities disappeared. Here’s a message for whoever is the next Mets GM in the winter of 2020, don’t ever sign players over the age of 32. It does not work. Watch some Cano tape from this season as a reminder. 

Back on topic. During a Subway series game, Yankees Legend, and greatest Short stop in team history Alex Rodrigues hit a lazy infield pop up to end the game. Luis Castillo tracked the ball… and dropped it. He dropped it like a little league game. Nobody drops a pop fly beyond middle school. The Mets found a way. 

Now, this didn’t happen on a Wednesday night in Colorado, or a Tuesday at the Pirates. This happened in the subway series. The back papers were ruthless and Mets fans were tainted for months. I wasn’t exactly a Castillo fan before this, so this didn’t help. 

Still better than the Roberto Alomar era.  

 

Level 3 – The Jets AND Knicks Fanbases Are Shaking Their Heads.

Yoenis Cespedes breaks his ankle stepping in a hole – While I think most Mets fans have no issues bashing Cespedes these days, I still have reservations. He carried us to a World Series, being the only offensive player the team had for most of his run (Wright and Conforto helped out when they were active). It was so incredible, he received MVP votes despite only playing in the National Leagues for 2 months. 

Now, the injuries over the past 3 seasons are horrific. Cespedes hamstrings might as well be Paper Mache at this point. His heel surgery last year was a joke, waiting until September when it could have been done in May. He basically sacrificed the first half of this season for no reason. Still, there was hope he’d return for the second half, bringing a powerful right handed bat to the lineup. And then he shattered his ankle…. At his ranch…

What?

Yes, apparently he fell in a hole. The team made it clear he wasn’t riding a horse or playing golf and it was a freak accident. This makes me think he was playing golf riding on a horse. I mean, who breaks their ankle from falling in a hole? A sprain, sure, but a clean break? That seems to be way harder than being this simple. Now, we might never see Cespedes again in a Mets uniform. Isn’t that delightful?

The Cano/Diaz trade – Sigh, ok, let’s get this over with.

Brody’s first big move as the Mets GM was to give the people some start power and prove they were all in. Don’t worry about them considering trading Thor days earlier and nearly starting a full rebuild.

The Mets traded for Robinson Cano, former Yankees star who was busted for PEDs and was on a clear power decline. He may have been capable of hitting .280, but at the risk of declining power and range. Fortunately, he was only under contract for 4 more years at a hefty price. Did I say fortunately? I meant this was awful. Cano couldn’t have been worse as a Met, struggling to out produce Bloggin Hood nemesis Todd Frazier. And that doesn’t mean Frazier has been good. It’s impossible. Frazier Sucks. Cano is an albatross that I pray some dumb team wants to acquire. Are the Phillies still on the line?

Edwin Diaz was a lights out closer who had no chance of repeating his 2018. Naturally, the Mets touted him as the best closer in baseball. He’s been as advertised, except for blowing some of the worse games of the season. He might be the 27th best closer this yeah. Now, he’s still young and has trade value. You know who else has trade value? Jarred Kelenic

Now, I’ll be hoenst, I didn’t know much about Kelenic last year. My viewing of Mets games outside of deGrom starts fell off. I knew he was their first round pick and didn’t hear much of it. If he was the price they had to pay to trade away Jay Booce, so be it. I mean, they dealt away Booce! That had to be worth some salary right?

Now, every single article I read mentions future mega star Jarred Kelenic. What? When did this happen? The Mets farm system was atrocious, and ranked at the bottom by all evaluators. If we had this next superstar, why didn’t we know about him?

It’s just as well. If we kept him he would have been Lastings Milledge.

Don’t worry, he’s probably coming back to play for the team this September with Tebow.

Harvey doesn’t show up to a game – This one holds a special place in my heart because I brought a ticket to the game. Again, with no real information given, fans were told minutes before first pitch that Harvey was scratched from his start. Naturally, we all thought it was an injury. 

Then they said he didn’t show up and that’s all we got. God, this team can’t even release shady details right. 

The fans were in a panic. Did Harvey die? Was he hospitalized? Did he forget to pee again? Why won’t they teach this in the schools damn it!?

When the details came out, it was worse than I’d have suspected. Harvey got “dumped” but Adriana Lima, who he wasn’t exactly dating. She decided to go back to Julian Edelman, which makes sense since he actually finishes championships off. Devastated, Harvey got super messed up, depressed, and overslept for the game. The Mets has to send representatives to go to his apartment to see if he was alive. That’s not ideal. 

Now look, I’ve see. Adriana Lima. You know, in photos. I get being sad about it. But this was Matt Freaking Harvey. He was one of, if not the, biggest sports celeb in the city. He would have done fine on the bounce back

It’s also not as if he failed to show up to his job at the mall. Everybody would know he wasn’t there and the story would get out. He still chose this route. What an embarrassment. 

This isn’t even touching on Harvey refusing to take a minor league assignment. Or him partying instead of showing up to the bullpen on time for games he was scheduled to pitch in. What a flame out. He’ll make a great trivia answer in like 10 years. Harvey is Baseball’s version of a one hit wonder. 

Familia being brought back – There was a time where Jeurys Familia was a lights out reliever. Before the 2015 World Series, he looked like an unhittable force. 

But that World Series happened. I like to deny it, but it did. 

Familia blew leads multiple times in the series, with none more devastating than the game 1 homer. Familia thought a quick pitch was a good idea. So did Alex Gordon unfortunately. 

After this awful showing, Familia was a shell of himself. He could never pitch in a big spot again. In the 2016 wild card game, guess who gave up the only runs in a previous 0-0 pitchers duel between Thor and Bumgarner? I bet you can guess it in three tries. 

Familia spiraled our of control to just an awful pitcher. In 2018, he blew at least 8 of deGrom’s leads. It was horrible. He was traded the Oakland, mostly as a salary dump, and there he pitched good. As a free agent, teams were interested that he may have rediscovered his stuff. Certainly the Mets weren’t one of them. 

And then I read they signed Familia to a 3 year, $30 million contract. I believe I questioned if God Hayes the Mets fans entirely, or this was merely revenge on me personally. 

Familia has managed to be worse than expected.  He has a 7.81 ERA and continues to ruin deGrom starts. Recently he was out on the DL with a made up injury. Apparently, it’s against the rules to write “suckitide” on the reason for an injury stint. 

Generation K being a horrific failure – As bad as it looks like the most recent Mets pitching prospects are going to turn out, at least Harvey, deGrom, Syndergaard, Matz and even Wheeler (I mean he wasn’t healthy, but…) made a World Series and a second playoff appearance. That’s light years ahead of Generation K. For those too young to remember, Generation K was supposed to the Mets time to rise. Three high prospects were gong to revolutionize the Mets, and make them a true contender. Instead, well, no it didn’t. Here’s what happened to the three of them. 

Bill Pulsipher – After a somewhat promising debut, which is even a stretch with a 4 ERA, Pulsipher was basically finished due to destroying his elbow. He made brief appearance for nearly a decade, but never came close to his potential; It’s not really his fault due to injury, but this is so Mets. The first to reach the majors was done before even Bonilla signed on the bottom line. 

Jason Isringhausen – After debuting in 1995, Isringhausen looked to be the real deal, and the Mets leaned on him to be their ace for the foreseeable future. But such a curse could only lead to injuries. Isringhausen had every injury known to man, Ribs, bone spurs, labrum, and ultimately needed elbow reconstruction surgery. Because the Mets hadn’t suffered enough. Ultimately he was traded. Isringhausen had a good career after the Mets, becoming a closer. he actually recorded his 300th save with the Mets, but all his potential was never reached. Isringhausen could have been a lethal starter in another world. One where the Mets stink didn’t ruin his life. 

Paul Wilson – Wilson was the pitcher with the highest potential, but he didn’t do shit. He injured himself early and often, never cracking the majors with the Mets. He tolled on the Rays and Reds for a few years, but he as a nothing. 

This is a reminder to the GMs out there – build around hitters like the Cubs and Astros. It’s a lot safer. The Mets have failed on this roster construction concept twice in 20 years. And you know who hasn’t changed? The ownership? Huh, go figure. Who’d have guessed they’d have sucked for 25 years. 

Tom Glavine gives up 7 first innings runs in a must win game – I’m not looking to relive 2007, so let’s just say the Mets needed two wins to get to the postseason. In game 161, John Maine of all people pitched a masterful game. The Mets got the help they needed and only had to win to reach the playoffs. With veteran Tom Glavine on the mound, surely the Mets would qualify. 

And what did Tom Glavine do? What did he do? Oh not much, except give up 7 runs in the first. 

This is why Glavine doesn’t belong in the hall of fame. This is why the Braves wne a single World Series despite making the playoffs 14 years in a row. I doubt Glavine is even the best pitcher in his immediate family. I hate Tom Glavine. With no due respect, he can suck the hairiest, vein filled set of balls. 

But the fun didn’t stop there. In the bottom of the first, the Mets responded. With 2 outs, the Mets has scored a run and had the base loaded for Ramon Castro. Castro hit a rocket and raised his arm. Surely this was a grand slam. 

Except it wasn’t. It was 75 feet short of the wall, as if somebody shot it out of the air. It was probably the gravitational pull of Glavine’s suck. The game was over at that point and the Mets missed the playoffs. 

Glavine then turned tail and went back to the Braves  where he was celebrated for being a failure. 

David Wright’s injury history – This is the saddest one on the list because Wright would have been the greatest Met of all time (arguably, he’s at least the best positional player) and the guy wanted to play. Toward the end, he was warming up for 3 hours just to swing a bat. The guy got a raw deal, and it’s likely from being with a toxic organization.

Wright was robbed of 1 MVP due to the 2007 collapse. I don’t care what anyone says – the fact he finished fourth was a travesty and if people think Jimmy Rollins was better than Wright that season, they deserve to have their voting rights stripped. That includes voting for the next fast food sandwiches. They don’t deserve the privilege.

As for Wright the final five years of his career sum it all – 112 games in 2013, 134 in 2014, 38 and 37 the next two seasons, then a final series in 2018. For all of 2017, he truly believed he would play. The sad thing is, for the most part, when he got on the field, he did hit well. The Homerun he hit in his 2015 return just before the playoffs is one of the few moments I’ve ever felt chills. It was electric.

That was a road game by the way.

This one is the saddest of all because this was a potential Hall of fame career. We even have one about crying earlier, and it’s not close to the level of sadness to me.

Doc and Darryl careers end a decade early – This is more depressing than anything else. Back in the mid 80s, the Mets were the team of New York, winning in 86, and having larger than life personalities. If you didn’t like the Mets, you would hate them. At the time, they typically backed up all their smack talk. It was an incredibly talented team, but it was Doc and Darryl that stood out the most. 

Doc was a mega star. He was unhitttable in 1985, following his rookie of the year award with a Cy Young. His 1985 ERA was 1.53. That’s insane. Even being great in 86, hen never reached the heights again, striking out less and less batters every year. He remaining on the Mets through 94, but ultimately drugs did him in. Looking at his stats, it’s crazy he still remained effective, though his ERA sat in the mid to high 3s from 1990 on. 

Darryl has a similar arc. He was a true star from his Rookie of the year 83 season up until 1990. Then, the numbers began to dip a bit. The situation got so bad the Mets let him go to the dodgers despite being an all star for 8 straight years and finishing in the top 10 in MVP votes for 4 of them. It was no secret why, but it still hurt. 

I don’t have to say these guys were on coke for the majority of their Mets careers. In fact, there’s a 30 for 30 on it. Every decision they made was the wrong one. In many ways, it’s mind boggling both are still alive. A lot of fault should be placed on the players here, but what about the organization? These two needed structure and guidance. You think the Mets of the 80s were a good place for them? This team featured Lenny Dykestra for Christ’s sake. 

Maybe if they had been on a better organization, we’d be talking about them as hall of gamers. Instead, they were flashes in the pan, though both ended up having good careers overall. 

Oh, and even better, both cleaned themselves up enough to join the 96 Yankees and win a World Series. Doc even pitched a no hitter for the team. So that was fun. I mean, great redemption story. I’m not even bitter about it. 

Shea Stadium closes after choking the playoffs away with legends and fireworks – To me, this is the epitome of the Franchise, and arguably it’s lowest point. I remember the day well as I was driving with a friend** in college and we had the radio on listening to the end of the 2008 season, and it remains as absurd now as it was then.

The 2008 Mets were coming off of one of, if not the, worst collapse in Sports history. In 2008, it was more of the same. The team looked pretty good, but then failed in September, needing to win their last game to secure the Wild Card. Believe it or not, they did not secure the Wild Card. The loss was the second year in the row the Mets collapsed, yet still controlled their own destiny, and blew it. This would be enough to make the list but unfortunately, the Mets were playing their last game at Shea stadium. Most teams would have the foresight to not schedule this on a day the team may lose to ensure missing the playoffs. Most teams aren’t owned by the Wilpons.

What followed was a celebration of Mets history, bringing back old players and current players alike. The fans who didn’t leave in disgust rained down boos at the proceedings. Players who hadn’t be on the field in nearly 50 years dealt with vile, and angry fans, though it was justified. I could be remembering this wrong, but I’m pretty sure that it ended with fireworks.

Then again it was an afternoon game, so I doubt that’s true. It’s funnier that way. Imagine Keith Hernandez cursing out the fireworks as he blamed the team’s loss on poor fundies? All together, this is my vote for most Mets moment.

Bobby Bonilla takes a million dollars a year until 2035 – So, let’s paint the picture here. Bobby Bonilla resigned with the Mets for his second tenure. His first wasn’t anything to right home about, so the second really had to be something special to stand out. Boy was it. Bonilla failed to hit .200 in his 60 games with the Mets. He cared so little for the team, he actually played cards in the dugout with Rickey Henderson during the playoffs.

I know. I forgot Rickey Henderson was a Met too.

The Mets realized that this contract was a disaster. You’d have thought they may have recognized this after his first go around with the team, but I guess late is better than never. They wanted to buy out of the contract. To do so, they would need to pay Bonilla the remaining $5.9 million on his deal. The Wilpons didn’t want to do that. They’re are cheap pieces of shit. Instead, they offered Bonilla a different buy out option – a mere $1,000,000, but for the next 35 years. Bonilla took the deal immediately. Today, the team is still mocked for this poor decisions, but allow me to defend it for just a moment.

The Wilpons were tied to Bernie Madoff. Madoff was making hand over fist for the Wilpons as he ripped off hundreds of people in his Ponzi schemes. So you see, the Wilpons knew they would have an infinite amount of dirty money coming in. It was only when Madoff went to jail that the deal looks worse. So you see, it’s only a bad deal by the Mets if you don’t factor In they had dirty, illegal money paying off a washed up, jackass player.

That makes the whole thing worse, doesn’t it?

I think one of the reasons the Bonilla payment plan is so mocked is because they agreed to pay $35 million instead of $6. That usually not shred business. Sure, you can factor in inflation, rate of returns, and all sorts of fancy economic theories, but that’s not fun. What’s fun is making fun of paying a shitty player way too much money.

But the real reason that the Bonilla contract is discussed today is because it’s the Mets. All the Mets do is get mocked. And honestly, it’s with go reason. Anything I said about Tm Glavine should be tripled for the Wilpons. At this point, I’ve never been so ashamed to root for the team. Somehow, we have three All-Stars despite the fact we’re more embarrassing than the Knicks. The Knicks! They paid Julius Randel $21 Million dollars a year! I should have just been born a cricket fan.

So today, on this Bobby Bonilla day, think of the poor Mets fans who suffer every year before you post your jokes. They weren’t funny the 80^th time they were texted today, so they won’t be funny when you tell them. Or you can be an uncreative bore and repeat them as you always do, you uncultured swine. Go ahead, do it. It’s not like it matters. Nothing you say can be worse than what the Mets will do this week. Literally nothing.

*RIP

**He’s certainly question the usage of the word friend.