Fall Guys – Or They Prefer to be Called Fall Men
March 22, 2021Back in August, people were desperate for entertainment. We reached six months of the pandemic in the United States, with no end in sight. Huh, the more things change the more they stay the same.. Anyway, the allure of Animal Crossing, a game that carried civilization through the early parts of the pandemic began to fade. On August 4th, a new sensation was born. Fall Guys, a bean based mini game competition, erupted on the scene. The people frigging loved it. Society had a glimmer of hope in a difficult time.
Of course, the Fall Guys’ boom was short-lived. After about a month, people stopped playing in droves. To add insult to injury, the new hot game was Among Us, another bean based multiplayer contest. Among Us was a very different game, but it’s popularity hit Dizzying Heights* 1 When one bean game rose, another bean game, well it fell. I mean, it’s in the title. Nobody should have been surprised the Fall Guys were falling.
While Among Us has seemed to fizzle out, Fall Guys never recaptured it’s glory from the summer, but continues being a solid experience. I’ve recently gotten back into the game after a long hiatus and I have to say, it’s still pretty fun. It’s not perfect, but it’s combination of mini games, customization, and quick play time makes it an ideal game for 2021. It also takes heavy inspiration from two classic forms of entertainment.
The first, is MXC, one of my favorite programs of all time. Of course, MXC is really a repackaged version of Takeshi’s Castle, an actual Japanese Game show. MXC was a parody from a different era. It’s filled with crude jokes, not so subtle innuendo, and a sideline reporter that would be canceled in 2020 faster than Firefly** 2. There’s no chance this show could air today. But, because it was made a generation ago, nobody cares and it’s available on Amazon Prime. I have all the seasons and still belly laugh at it.
What does this say about me? Well, we’re not hear to address those questions, now are we?
Whether we’re discussing Takeshi’s Castle, or it’s parody, the show was absolutely insane. Contestants on the show had to run through a gauntlet of events in an attempt to be the last player standing. Players were often eliminated in painful ways, though this was emphasized on MXC. Many contestants wore ridiculous costumes, and I have no idea why. It wasn’t a requirement since most people wore normal clothes. I assume it was to stand out before landing face first into mud.
Fall Guys takes a lot from Takeshi’s Castle. The developers stated it was a huge influence. On some of the levels, the traps from the show are present. There are boulders rolled at the players, and well as cannons which hurl projectiles at contestants. While some of the levels have references, Door Dash is almost entirely lifted from the show, complete with bone crushing crashes against indestructible doors.
Why exactly did people compete on this game show? Were they turned on by injuries?
The other obvious inspiration is Mario Party. While Mario Party may not have been the first mini game based entertainment, it’s the first I’ve played. It’s likely the first you did as well. Fall Guys lacks any sort of board to move around, but lifts from quick games. A typical round of Fall Guys will take roughly 10-15 minutes and has 5 rounds of games. Mario Party took longer, but rounds ended after the mini game. You can see the correlation.
Of course, Mario Party’s defining feature was extreme luck. Sure, it took skill to win some mini games. But skill was usually irrelevant, as stepping on one wrong space could liquidate your coins and stars. The Bonus Stars at the end of a Mario party round were the single most frustrating part of video games. You may have heard that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Did you know that 25% of those divorces were over a Mario Party related fight? How does Nintendo sleep at night? You know, other than on a pile of money.
Fall Guys has luck elements to it, but not like Mario Party. Typically, if you play well in Fall Guys, you’ll advance. Usually, the most skilled player wins. The key word there is usually. Fall Guys will throw random, nonsensical bullshit at you to keep you on your toes. You’ll suffer crushing defeats that aren’t your fault. You’ll also see the game hand a victory to somebody for no reason at all. Thanks Mario party. I hope you hear from a lot of divorce attorneys soon.
I don’t want to discuss MXC and Mario Party too much, as there’s plenty there for future blogs. Instead, I want to discuss the topic at hand. We got here in about 800 words. Not bad Bloggin Hood.
Firstly, I want to discuss the name Fall Guys. I’ve been calling the game Fall Men since August. I wasn’t trying to be funny; I generally got the name wrong. At this point, the game is Fall Men, and I won’t accept anything else. For SEO reasons, I’m going to use Fall Guys, but Fall Men is the superior name. Make sure to put the emphasize on the last syllable and say it as if it’s one word. You’ll get plenty of confused looks, but eventually others will accept it.
On March 22nd, Fall Guys will begin it’s fourth season. A new season brings forward some updates, game play fixes and new mini games. Given that this season has gotten some hype, I thought it was a great time to give my thoughts. For once, I’m qualified to talk on the game, as I’m a seven times Fall Guy champion.
What’s that? How many games have a played? Listen, all that matters is I’ve won 7 times. We don’t ask the Yankees or Lakers how many games they’ve lost, have we? I didn’t think so. If you’re asking questions like that, you probably wouldn’t even call it Fall Men. Pathetic.
This review will only discuss the first three seasons of Fall Guys. I haven’t played season 4 yet, so I can’t comment, but it does look promising. Perhaps there will be a sequel blog down the road.
Concept
Fall Men, or Fall Guys for you humorless purists out there, is a 60 player “Battle Royale”. The Battle Royale format exploded with Fortnight (remember Fortnight?) and expanded to all sorts of games. Typically, it’s reserved for First Person Shooters. Thankfully, Fall Guys hasn’t gone down that path… yet. Don’t be surprise if Season 5 introduces a sniper class and promotes camping.
Battle Royals eliminate the entire player lobby until there is one remaining player standing. Unlike other Royales, Fall Guys eliminates players periodically in each round. The typical Fall Guys game is five rounds, usually 2-3 races, a dreaded team game, potentially a Survival or Unique round, and then a final game. A set amount of players will be eliminated in each round, until the final, where roughly 5-15 players will remain.
It’s a good spin on a popular format, and avoids the unnecessary blood splatter of other Battle Royals. Also, there’s considerably less building than Fortnight. But what kind of Minigames does Fall Guys have?
Mini Games
I’ve not sure what the official names of the levels are, but I’ve classified the rounds into six different categories. I won’t talk about all the available mini games, but will discuss some of the highlights of each.
Races
The game calls them gauntlets, but that’s aggressive. Gauntlets are long, arduous journeys. Fall Guys Gauntlets are about 35 seconds long and involve 3-4 jumps. That’s a race people. I bet you’d scoff at the superior name Fall Men. I’m calling them races because that’s what they are.
With the exception of one infamous level, all races have allow a set number of beans to qualify. For instance, most games start off with a race, and that qualification number can range from 41-43. That means 17-19 beans kiss their championship hopes goodbye after round one and have to enter a new competition.
These tend to be fast pace, full of chaos, and truthfully, pretty fun. The races are Fall Guys strength. In my opinion, the developers should focus on these more than other game types. I appreciate diverse game play, but I’d prefer, you know, good levels.
Standouts:
Door Dash – This game is the most MXC inspired, but it kind of sucks. All of the beans have to run through eight*** 3. levels of doors, then fall down a large wall to the exit. This seems simple enough, but opening doors is completely luck based. In Fall Guys’ defense, this is identical to MXC. However, for game play, this kind of sucks. Nothing says “Go Screw yourself” like complete chance. Thanks for the Mario Party influence game.
Players are bunched together tight in this race, trying to squeeze through open doors. This is brutal, and one false step will cause your bean to fall over, and get trampled by every other player in the lobby. Falling over happens a lot in this game (Please cite the game’s title), and normally isn’t a bit deal. On this map, it can take you from first place to dead last easily.
The issue with this map is if you choose a wrong door, you fall far, FAR behind the pack. It encourages players to stay in the middle of the pack and avoid risks. That’s not ideal for a race. I like the concept of this, but not the execution.
Slime Climb – This is the granddaddy of them all. Slime Climb is the hardest level in Fall Guys, and hasn’t gotten easier over time. Unless every other race, every single player can qualify. All that have to do is finish. It’s much easier said than done.
This game has rising slime throughout the level. If you do not complete the course fast enough and touch the slime, you are eliminated. The course can get congested, and players can be eliminated if they fall at the wrong time. It takes good control, timing and skill to consistently qualify here. Personally, I think it’s one of the best levels in the game, rewarding good players. In my experience, roughly 10% of players complete the course.
Of course, you also have to deal with douchebaggery. Some players will try to grab and fling you off the side. This is especially brutal on several narrow paths in the level design, making it nearly impossible to avoid death. The biggest dicks will wait at the finish line, and fling unexpecting players to their deaths a few steps away from completing the level. They will then see their murderer taunting on screen. It’s a tough way to go.
You have to take the good Fall Men with the bad Fall Men though.
See Saw – This level really shows who is smart and who is dumb. If the Fall Guys player base is a litmus test, the average IQ is significantly less than 50.
On this map, players have to cross various see saw platforms to the finish line. The platforms will raise and lower depending on the weight. If there is too much weight on one side, the platform tips over. All of the beans on the platform return to either start or at a nearby checkpoint. The develops took pity with the checkpoints.
In theory, people can work together to keep platforms level. In practice, people are horrific bastards, selfishly having others do the work while they jump ahead. Some players will purposely cause a platform to tilt over, just out of spite. It’s a sleazy, under minded, selfish asshole play. I tip my hat to those players.
There are three ways to qualify here. The first is to start at the front of the pack and avoid the crowds. That’s completely luck based though. The second is to be the selfish asshole and take advantage of the beans trying to work together (the fools!). Lastly, you can qualify by understand basic principles and not be a moron. Unless there’s a determined asshole that ruins a platform for everyone behind him constantly, it’s difficult to fail this course. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve failed it a bunch. But I don’t claim to have an above 50 IQ either.
Survival
These games function much differently than races. As opposed to having to qualify before other people, in this one you’re trying to outlast the competition. Yes, I know it was obvious based on the name, but work with me here. You want to hang on as long as possible and hope the opposition makes a mistake. That shouldn’t be too much of a problem.
Standouts
Roll Out – This game takes some inspiration from the infamous Log Rollers game from MXC. Here you navigate five different rolling pillars, avoid gaps, and try to survive until a set number of players fall into the slime lagoon below.
For the most part, this isn’t too bad. You can stick with going back and forward on two platforms and keep track of gaps. However, be weary of other players. They will attempt to grab and throw you through the openings. They will also completely misunderstand how the game works and fail to move, trapping you into an embarrassing death. It turns out the danger wasn’t the level, but humans all along.
I mean, I guess it’s technically beans, but whatever.
Fruit Chute – This is a rather rare selection, but it’s devastating. This level punishing players for completing the previous course. It’s the developers giving you, the player, the finger for trying to enjoy their game. Serves you right, asshole.
In this game, you have to jump off a platform and land on a conveyor belt. While navigating this belt, you have to avoid fruit shot from a cannon and cross the finish line. In most rounds, I fail to land on the conveyor belt, and spent the majority of the time taking bananas and various berries to the face.
Something about that last sentence sounded odd. Ah well, I’m sure it’s fine. At least there’s no eggplants… yet.
This round seems luck dependent. If you avoid the fruit when landing on the belt, you can somewhat avoid all future assaults and qualify. However, one bad bounce will wipe you out. A good number of beans will luck out and avoid being touched so you really have to play well, or be blessed, to make it.
And may god have mercy on you if the game chooses watermelon as the fruit.
I know technically this is a race, but with how the fruit choose who lives or dies, it’s more of a survival game to me.
Suck
These games are some of the worst Fall Guys has to offer. However, they’re solo games, so it could be worse.
Standouts
Perfect Match – Nothing says exciting game play like a memory match game. Here, there are 16 tiles that show various fruit. After a countdown, all the titles will go blank, and the game will tell you to stand on a title with a randomly selected fruit. Failing to stand on a matching title will eliminate you. The game goes for three rounds and gets progressively harder.
The real danger in this game is not paying attention. Pretty much everyone just assumes the crowd is correct and follows them. Nine times out of ten, being a follower works. However, on that 10 time, everyone just falls to their death. All because you couldn’t remember where a banana was. For shame.
This one truthfully isn’t terrible, but it’s boring.
Tail Tag – In this “game” half of the lobby starts with a tail. The other half does not. Players have 90(!) seconds to try to acquire and keep their tail before the time expires.
I get it. It’s a fun idea. However, in practice, it’s stupid. This timer is far too long, and honestly, only the last five seconds matter. Almost every game has two or three tails switch hands at the last moment, and it’s rage inducing. This game should be much, much shorter.
The other issue is the grab detection. Fall Guys has some spotty issues with their servers, and lag hurts this game more than others. Sometimes, you think you’re grabbing a tail, but don’t get it. Other times, someone steals your tail from 20 feet away. It looks like bullshit, but its because your game is lagging. Not ideal when the last five seconds are all that matters.
A solution to the issue is that the players that held the tail for the longest should advance. This would negate a bit of the lag issues and make the full timer count.
Fun fact: There is a tail tag based final as well. That’s a frigging nightmare.
Team Games
Competitive games do not have the friendliest community. Fall Guys is a game where dressed up beans run around awkwardly. Despite this, the players are all still jerks. Therefore team games are easily the worst. You must rely on these goobers to help you win. It doesn’t help that the team games are mostly bad, including the worst game by far.
Team games were so villified by the community, the developers had to reprogram its level selection to avoid back to back team events. To this day, I still check if the remaining players are divisible by 2 or 3 each round.
Standouts
Fall Ball – This is just soccer. I don’t hate this game but some people despite it. In order to win, you need to have one or two players who are good offensively, and one or two players who will play defense. If you have that, you’ll win most games. If you lack either of those, it’s going to get ugly.
Fall Ball tends to be very on sided. Most games are decided early, which is unfortunate as the game clocks in at a meaty 2:30. If you’re winning by multiple scores, players on the opposing team begin to leave. However, if you’re losing it’s the longest 150 seconds in gaming. A close Fall ball game is worth playing, but that’s rare.
The Two Suck Ass Egg Games – I didn’t even bother to look up the real name of these. In my gaming career, never has something sucked this much. The run time of the game is too long, but the real problem is the targeting.
To win in either egg game, you must have more eggs in your team’s goal than the last place team. There are three separate teams in both versions, and that’s important. Teams start off the round gathering eggs from the middle and placing it in their home base. Then, one of the three teams will be blitzed by all other players. There’s really no way to defend against it. If you’re team is the target, you lose. If you’re not the target you win. That’s just great.
I mean, what’s the frigging point? Why not spin a wheel with three colors on it and eliminate whoever it lands on? I’d legit respect it more.
Unique
There are a few games that don’t fit in the other categories that deserve recognition. These are some of my favorites.
Standouts
Tip Toe – Players must navigate a series of titles to determine the true path to the finish line. Most of the titles are fake and will drop your bean off the map and back to the start of the level. The correct path will light up when touched. There is only one true path, but it snakes throughout the course. Players can only uncover the path by touching a title, flirting with death every time.
This becomes a giant game of chicken and nobody wants to fall back to start, especially when players are two tiles away from the finish line. It’s honestly ridiculous, but in the best way. This level seems incredibly rare, but I always like playing it with no fear. I’ll try every tile to avoid the cowardly chicken strategy. This strategy usually fails, but the two times it worked, oh man I felt invincable
Ski Fall – In this game, you are on a declining icy slope. Players have to jump through rings worth various points, ranging from one to five. Beans must score 15 points to qualify, and only a limited number will
There are other, worse version of this type of game in Fall Guys. I like this one as it combines racing with survival. You have to go quickly, but there’s still a skill element of timing your jumps to get the most points. People qualify quickly, so you need to precise and swift to make it. Not much to say here. I just think it’s well designed.
Finals
These levels will always conclude the game and crown a champion. Some of the games have regular versions of themselves in the earlier rounds, like Tail Tag for some reason. Others are unique to the final round.
Standouts
Fall Mountain – The “traditional” final level. This is a race up a mountain where players must grab a comically large crown to win. The mountain itself is heavily MXC inspired, including boulders barreling down at runners.
This final comes down to avoiding obstacles as well as possible. There’s a lot of luck in dodging the items, and sometimes, you just get pummeled without mercy.
The crown itself is a challenge to grab. It will rise and fall on a timer, so even if you arrive first to the end, you may have to wait. Also, remember the grab detection issues from tail tag? Imagine believing you grab the crown and won, but the game didn’t register it. Don’t worry, it only happens all the time.
I think this is a fun level, but has some serious flaws.
Jump Showdown – This is a fairly simple final, and personally, I think it’s the easiest to win, but it’s lucked based. Basically, you have to jump over rotating pillars and be the last bean standing. It’s simple enough, but you have to time your jumps precisely to avoid being sandwiched by the rotating parts. Otherwise, it’s a piece of cake.
Oh, did I mention the floor is divided into eight pieces and six of the pieces randomly fall away, leaving only two? Huh… I should of. That felt important. Here’s the luck aspect of the final. Depending how the floor falls, you might just lose by default. Then again, if things break your way, you could win this way too. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but timing jumps is too simple without chaos.
This is a level people love to grab in order to kill rivals. It can backfire, but if you learn how to grab, you’ll do quite well.
Hex-a-Gone – This is arguably the game’s best designed level, but I kind of hate it. I certainly respect it, but it’s not my favorite final, mostly because I’m bad at it. For centuries, scholars have said it sucks to suck, and my bitterness is proof of that.
Hex-a-Gone is a game with ten*** 3 levels of platforms. Your goal is to be the last bean to avoid falling off the stage, or through the last level. The most efficient strategy seems to be to take as long as possible on each tile. You can slowly jump to maximize your time on each platform, though it takes precision.
You must also think ahead and make sure there are tiles beneath you as you prepare to descend. Some players use a contrarian strategy of trying to drop to the bottom as quickly as possible, eating through tiles and hoping they can outlast the players above, who will rapidly fall. This tends to only cause chaos and rarely leads to victory, but hey, you do you evil beans.
Speaking of chaos, you’ll have to navigate the beans on the same level as you. For whatever reason, most players view players on the same floor as a threat. They immiedatley try to remove their titles so they fall lower, even if it means they take themselves down as well. I’ve seen players grab others for no other reason than to protect their path.
As always, people are the worst.
Reward System
As stated previously, part of the appeal of Fall Guys is the costumes. If you just ran around as a solid colored bean, nobody would play the game. The biggest appeal is dressing up your bean. It’s like playing with dolls, but digital and much more nerdy.
To unlock items to customize your bean, you can either use coins called Kudos, level up your character with experience, or spend crowns. Kudos and Experience are earned in each game you play based by how well you did. If you win a game, you’ll get a ton of both, plus a crown. Crowns can be earned as rewards by leveling up, but you can get an infinite amount by being good. I think it’s an effective system. The better you play, the more items you unlock and can purchase.
The store is not my ideal concept. Every day, the items in the store rotate out. There will be a few that are the same for every player, and six items unique to each individual. These items can range from randomly selected costumes, colors, titles, patterns and even taunts. Unfortunately, these are all random, so you don’t really have control over what you get.
I understand they want to keep people logging in and checking, but you’ll have weeks where you only get multiple colors. Naturally, these colors will be different shades of poo. Fantastic. I think the solution would be to ensure at least one costume appears every day, but that’s just me.
Another understandable, but frustrating aspect is the costumes come in two parts. You unlock a top and a bottom**** 4. I like the two part system because it allows you to mix and match costumes. For instance, I can run around as a half duck hot dog, or a horse hot dog, or even a plant hot dog. The important part is I can be half hot dog since that meat can be made of anything. It’s definitely not a sandwich though.
What I dislike is the cost is the same for the top portion and the bottom. Let’s be honest, nobody really cares if the bottom part of the costume is accurate. We really only want the top. They top portions should be more expensive, OR you should get the full costume when one part appears in the store. Come on Fall guys, you can do this for us.
The majority of costumes can be purchased with Kudos. You have the option buy Kudos, but as long as you’re ok at the game, you’ll earn enough to buy the items you want. Of course, the best costumes cost crowns, typically five for each half, so you’ll want to save up, unless you’re the Michael Jordan of Fall Men. Then knock yourself out and buy yourself a three crown color.
Fall Guys has partnered up with some fairly big games to make costumes. There’s a Mega Man, who looks a bit past it’s prime, and Cuphead, which looks pretty damn accurate. The biggest acquisition was Sonic, though it’s a chubby version of the hedgehog. My theory is they accidentally signed Sanic the hedgehog by mistake, and nobody realized until it was too late. Damn Sanic.
My favorite costume is, by far, the goose from Untitled Goose Game. That goose terrorized an entire town in his game, and you can even unlock a honking taunt. This taunt is the best item in the game, which bring us to our most important section.
Taunting
I’m not a showboat. I don’t believe in taunting others just because you’ve run a race. It’s egotistically, unsportsmanlike, and childish.
But if I can run around levels with a Goose costume and honk at people throughout each course? I mean, come on. I’m not stupid. Of course I’m going to do that.
After I earned the Goose costume and taunt, my gameplay has devolved into chasing around random players and honking nonstop. My goal is either to qualify, or be thrown off the edge in pure rage from the player. So far, I’ve only been eliminated twice via rage. That number is far, far too low.
Here’s a tip for new and experience players alike. If you hate team games like I do, try abandoning your teamates and taunt in a corner instead. You’ll have a much better time. In fact, other players will join you, including rival team members. Hell, if you’re playing the egg game you had no say in the match anyway, so why not have fun? You’re just as likely to win anyway. Honk up bitches.
Conclusion
Fall Guys is not without it’s flaws. I’ll even overlook the developers ignoring my petition to change the name to Fall Men… for now. It suffers from lag issues today, even as the player base has dwindled from the heights of August. When your bean falls over for seemingly no reason, or you fail to grab an edge or tail, that’s lag. Sometimes lag eliminates you before the Egg Game so it’s not all bad. Lag might be a blessing in that case.
One of the major criticisms with Fall Guys is the Mini Game Selection, Often, the same games are repeated over and over. This is partially because Fall Guys has a smallish pool of levels that expands with each season. However, there is still a repetitiveness to the selections. You’ll play the same set levels over the course of 4-5 games. It’s not ideal, especially if you get games that you dislike.
I would expect this flaw would fix itself as the game continues to expand, but it could take a while. Time is not something Fall Guys has, though the new season will hopefully address these concerns.
To succeed, the developers should focus on the races, the standout feature of the game. Add some more randomness to the level selection, and I think players will come back for more. Unless they get stuck in a lobby with a constantly honking Goose Hot Dog.
But really, who’s fault is that?
