Duck Hunt Dog – A Tail of Redemption or From Hated to Heartthrob, the Tail of Duck Hunt Dog.

I mean, did you people see the opening pun to this article? If that doesn’t show you what kind of article you’re in for, I don’t know what will. Somebody give me my damn Pulitzer now and say us all the time.*

Growing up, I think the most fun I had playing video games was on the original Nintendo. Even at the time, there were more powerful systems, the Genesis and Super Nintendo were locked in their version of the Cold War, but nothing quite beat the simplicity and smoothness of the Nintendo. Sure the other systems looked better*¹, but the Nintendo managed to get top-tier game play out of eight bits. It was here that some of Nintendo’s main players were developed. Mario, Link, Samus and Mega Man**²all got their start here and even to this day, some of the best games of all time are from this system. This is Super Mario Bros 3 set the gaming world on fire. I mean, this is also where Tecmo Super Bowl is played on. Are you really going to tell me Bo Jackson isn’t the best virtual athlete we know? Why don’t you tell him yourself.

Bo knows how to break hater’s knee caps.

Part of the fun of playing Nintendo game’s today is that you have to use your imagination. I won’t pretend the graphics are actually good, but at the time of its release, people were excited that the controller had multiple buttons and responded accurately to button presses. You could imagine what the worlds, the enemies and the heroes would look in real life, immersing yourself in a game where in reality, a square block tried to defeat a slightly larger square block. Game designers would add scores and time based rewards to keep players coming back for more. The replay ability on the best Nintendo games were through the roof.

Consider the original Metroid. For beating the game at a certain speed, you saw Samus remove her helmet, and to the surprise of all gamers, find out she was a woman. At the time, this was a complete bombshell, as everyone just assumed Samus was a man. Or at least a cyborg/android/death bot created for the sole purpose of murdering the shit out of aliens. I don’t think the possibility of her being a woman crossed most player’s narrow minds. Rewards like this kept players coming back to games they’ve beaten, trying to best their previous times, and for the perverts out there, attempt to see if Samus would fully take off her suit and show her 8 bit block breasts.

I didn’t say all the reasons for replaying were noble.

Today, video games don’t have the same magic. Now a days, there’s rarely scores, or time based rewards. Most games don’t have unlocks or secrets anymore, and if they do, they can only be unlocked for $1.99. Any replay ability is based of Downloadable Content, or micro transactions, which seems like something the Nazi’s would support. I’m not saying these practices are due to millennials struggling to work for anything, but that’s exactly what it is. Consider today’s version of Samus as the hallmark of this. Instead of having to beat the time quickly to find out what Samus looks like, she now spends half of her game in a skin-tight suit, with Barbie like proportions, as jiggly as you can imagine.

The game was rating E for everyone?

Now, I know most male teenagers aren’t complaining about the perfection of jiggle physics, but at least back in the day we add to earn our poorly illustrated hey hey. Now they just dangle this in front of you, pun obviously intended. I’m sure in five years you can receive a DLC Samus stripper mode for the price of $8.99. Try not to put that on your mom’s credit cards, kids.

Through all the hits that the original Nintendo brought, none sold more copies than the original Mario Bros. The game introduced plenty of the staples future installments would have, including power ups, classic enemies, the infuriating underwater levels, Bowser, and Mario being blue balled by the princess, a proud tradition that continues to this day. While ultimately not the best entry into the series, it was the first landmark game for Mario, and a certain classic in its own right. It’s still a very good game today, even if you had to hear seven time that the princess was in another castle***³. God Mario, ever consider using GPS?

While the original Mario was flying off the shelves, it came with a second, bonus game, called Duck Hunt. This free game had a gun attachment that you aimed at the screen and shot at flying ducks. Honestly, this idea was somewhat revolutionary at the time, and was the original first person shooter, as genre played by millions of grade school, high school and college jerks who call each other gay and lie about sleeping with people’s moms. It’s even played by your very own blogging hood. With disastrous results, even on modes designed to bridge the skill gap. Yet for years, the foul language and inappropriate taunts were only the second worst side effect of the game. The first was, of course, Duck Hunt Dog, gaming’s first troll. All you assholes playing on-line games need to pay your respects to the man who did it best…

Or dog. Whatever.

Is your blood boiling yet? Your blood should definitely be boiling.

The concept seemed easy enough – you’re goal was to shoot down two ducks per round, hit around eight of ten ducks and move to the next round. The hit detection technology wasn’t THAT advanced for the time, so you could argue that the game was easier or harder than it should have been, depending on your need for excuses. The game got progressively harder as it went, as expected, and there was really no ending. It was a “high score” type of arcade game; truly it was only an add on to the main Mario Bros. Adventure. However, when you missed your target, your partner, the dog, would laugh at your poor shooting. He would also hold up any ducks you did manage to hit. It was here that the greatest villain in video game history was born. Don’t believe me? Consider these points.

1). Duck Hunt Dog’s main role was to taunt your poor play. Video Games are often an ego driven endeavor. When a person loses, or doesn’t play well, it becomes a frustrating experience. The last thing someone needs is to be taunted when they already feel kind of crappy. Duck Hunt Dog would immediately taunt if you failed to shoot down a duck, laughing at you with his dark, sadistic glee. If you were playing with others, this would only egg on their taunts, making the experience that must worse. The animation for a successful, two duck round is nowhere near as iconic or rewarded. It feels more like relief you won’t be taunted.

2). Duck Hunt Dog captured dead, murdered ducks. I mean, this is obviously, but it’s still kind of dark for Nintendo. He grabs the carcasses by the neck, as if they were a trophy. In many ways they are. Then again, it’s not as though Duck Hunt Dog chases down the ducks and snapped their necks No, you, the player are the murderer or dozens, if not hundreds of virtual ducks (depending on skill). Those virtual ducks had pretend families, you bastard. Even when succeeding in the game, the dog makes you feel bad about the things you’ve done. You don’t win in duck hunt, you lose at various degrees.

3). That horrible, horrible laugh. Nothing in life is as scathing as hearing the eight bit laugh of the Duck Hunt Dog. It’s the iconic loser sound over the past 30 years, well ahead of the Price is Right failure music. Everybody knows the price is right failure sound effect, right? Well, the Duck Hunt Dog laugh is that amplified by a million. It’s the equivalent of being told you’re a failure by your parents, finding out your fiancée cheated on you the day before your wedding with your best friend, and that you’ve been fired all in one sound effect.

It’s a character that has enraged entire generations. I can’t think of anyone who played Duck Hunt that had anything good to say about the damned dog. Clearly, Nintendo designed a great character, since everybody agreed that hated him. For nearly 30 years since his birth, Duck Hunt Dog lived to troll, taunt, and I guess grab dead ducks by the neck. His sole video game appearance was so iconic, he’s been the subject of parodies and memes about getting revenge, including shooting the dog himself.

However, all that was mere fantasy compared to the rage he brought gamers for decades. At least until Summer of 2014.

With the announcement of a new Smash Brothers title, internet people, which I label because based on their spelling and rudeness can’t actually be real people, declared who they would like to see in the new Smash game. Characters from Nintendo’s lore and other series were nominated, with many being ridiculous. Of course, considering Cloud, Ryu and Beyonetta ending up getting in, any guess was actually fair. My hope for Earthworm Jim, Darkwing Duck and Scrooge McDuck were thwarted… At least until Smash Five rolls around****⁴.

Smash Brothers has a tradition of including a throwback character; a classic representation of the older systems. In Melee, Mr. Game and Watch was the throwback. In Brawl, that honor went to ROB (you could have said the Ice Climbers, but, you know, they got iced in the new games). Rumors began to spread about every old character under the sun. But I know exactly who I wanted in Smash. I wanted the bastard Duck Hunt Dog. And as the summer of 2014 rolled on, leaked info pointed to him being playable. I was thrilled.

No, I was never attached to the Duck Hunt Dog, but like most people, I had been mocked for poor shooting as a youngster. This was my chance after 25+ years to get revenge. Duck Hunt Dog would be the target practice character – The dummy used in training mode to get timing down on combos. He would pay for the years of taunting that myself, nay all gamers waited for. When the confirmation trailer released and Duck Hunt Dog was revealed, all the revenge gamers craved was on the table.

It was there that redemption began.

The trailers revealed a new Duck Hunt Dog. One who didn’t seem so evil. His gameplay was unique and refreshing. His style was all his own. No longer was he the taunting dog, mocking your incompetence – he was in the fight and you were controlling him. At the end of the trailer, the thoughts of anger, of contempt, of “How did they let this dog in the game?” were gone. So was his bitter blood feud with the ducks, as he teamed up with one in his gameplay. Even his selection picture shows a happy dog and duck, ready to team up. You didn’t play as Duck Hunt Dog, but rather Duck Hunt. It was brilliant. In 2 minutes, the most hatred character in video games became the most talked about. Sure, some people hated the idea, but they probably hate birthday cake, Christmas and freedom too.

I mean, how can you hate that face?

But how exactly did the release of one game play trailer, and ultimately one playable appearance cause so many gamers to do a 180 on his character?  Well, thank Nintendo for a wonderful turnaround of the character.

The feud with the Duck is over – I mean, this is like the reverse of the Fox and the Hound. It might be the Benjamin Button edition of the story. Still, the pairing of the Duck and Dog makes the character much more likeable. No longer is the Dog grabbing ducks by the neck, instead he is happily smiling with him like an old friend. The intro picture does wonders for the revamping of his character. There’s no official material on how the Ducks and Dog made peace but something changed, for the better. Maybe our dear pooch made amends for his crimes. Maybe the dog went vegan. Maybe he raised this duckling after he hatched. Whatever the case may be, this is one of the great video game duos since Toejam and Earl*****⁵.

Now sure, Duck Hunt Dog might swing the Duck around like a stick in several of his moves, but that’s only for protection. In fact, the duck has several attacks were he is protecting the dog. This is a team built for the long haul. The dog will not be trading the duck to the Celtics for next to nothing in a few months. Isaiah Thomas would not make for a good battering weapon.

Duck Hunt Dog has a Cuddly Appearance – Show me a person who doesn’t like dogs, and I’ll show you a criminal. Even the manliest of men have a soft spot for dogs, and Duck Hunt Dog is no different. In Duck Hunt, the Dog is mere pixels, filled with concentrated evil. Now, he’s a happy smiling dog who runs on all fours, smiles nearly all the time, and can even be a Dalmatian in one of his alternate costumes. It doesn’t get much cuter than that.

I mean, even Cruella wouldn’t want to harm that dog

His game play animations make him out to be more of a goofball than a hunter dog. He runs on all fours, which makes sense for a dog, but it rare in Smash. He’s got an entirely different personality than he did 30 years ago. Maybe he went to obedience school and cleaned up his act. Whatever happened, you’d much rather pet this dog than scream at it for being a huge bastard.

The Game Play Captures the Dog Perfectly – Duck Hunt Dog was always known as a troll, and his move set reflects this. All of Duck Hunt’s best moves focus on keep away. By swinging his duck buddy, Duck Hunt Dog has a decent sized reach, protecting himself and hitting enemies at a distance. His special moves all make him impossible to approach. He has a can he can kick that explodes and creates havoc for an opponent, a disc he throws that the hunter shoots, that can trap enemies in a flurry of bullets and he can summon and army of cowboys as both meat shields and extra projectiles. That’s right, the dog can actually summon a wave on Cowboys to shoot guns at the enemy. I mean, who else can do this, on a Nintendo game, no less. Hell, he can even blow up his can on himself to escape danger, take an opponent with him, or just taunt. He even has his trademark laughing taunt, the ultimate in trolling.

And that’s when you being to realize something. All of this newfound love for the Duck Hunt Dog is based on a lie. There’s no change to his character. Sure he looks cuter, but that’s just the update in the graphics. And yes, he might have befriended the duck, but for all we know, that’s the Clayton Bigsby of ducks. But most importantly, he’s the same infuriating troll he’s ever been.

The attacks he uses are all keep away moves, the most frustrating to ever deal with. It’s difficult to lay a finger on a good Duck Hunt player, because there are so many projectiles coming at you. An expert player will flood the screen with various moves, and even if manage to dodge them all, then he just bashes you in the face with a duck and runs way again. He can block moves not only with his shield, but with his can and with his cowboy summon I mean, he can sacrifice men just do it.

But probably the biggest change Duck Hunt Dog can undergone is that he and the hunter no longer get along. Several of the Dog’s moves have him dodges gun fire from the hunter.  In turn, the enemy is hit with the bullets, while the dog is safe away from harm. Are they working together? Considering bullets often kill, I’m going to say no, not really. Duck Hunt Dog managers to not just troll the opposition with his variety of projectiles, he eve trolls his owner to the point he’ll shoot him.

This is the brilliance of Duck Hunt Dog’s revival – he’s the same asshole troll he always was, except now instead of taunting you, the player, he taunts everyone else. It’s the perfect troll for the character. He’s learned instead of trying to go after one person, why not go after them all? It was the only evolution the character could have had. Absolutely none.

Hopefully Duck Hunt Dog will remain a fixture in future Smash Brothers game. It was be an honest shame if he was removed, after he waited 30 years for his return. Personally, I don’t think the world has ever seen a better troll, especially not one so fluffy. And if Duck Hunt Dog and the Ducks can bury the hatchet and become friends, can’t we forgive Duck Hunt Dog, and learn to love him too?

Ok, maybe we’ll need another 30 years.

1. *I will argue to the death that the Super Nintendo Graphics look better today than any game up to mid PS2/X-Box. Any attempts of 3D from N64 until this point look blocky and dated. Give me clearly cartoon Sonic over a hideous group of pixels any day of the week.
2. **Yes, I am aware that Mega Man is a Capcom property, but based on their treatment of the characer in recent years, and Nintendo’s adoption of him in Smash and recent games, I think its fair to say he’s more Nintendo at this point.
3. Warping is for chumps.
4. ****Oddly enough, Smash Five, or at least a port for Smash Four was announced this past weekend. Start flooding Nintendo for those Darkwing Duck Requests. He did have a Nintendo game, which was Mega Man with Darkwing Characters copy and pasted over Mega Man robots. He qualifies… Maybe. But if we whine enough, it could happen.
5. *****More on that duo sooner than later.